


Retiens la nuit

by Angelscythe



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Lea is trying is best, M/M, Mention of abusive themes, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2020-09-07 15:36:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20311885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelscythe/pseuds/Angelscythe
Summary: After the Keyblade Graveyards' events, Lea had only one wish: find back his best friend. But whatever he's doing he can't. Without him by his side, his whole change, he get an useless job and does his best to take care of Roxas and Xion, between good friends and daddy. Which isn't that easy...Even more when something occurs in his life, shaking his whole existance.For the best or for the worst?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This whole fanfiction has been inspired by one of my best friend (who wasn't it yet at the time but got the upgrade =P) Ame Nocturna !!! She is a really gifted artist and I'd eager you to see what she does!!  
She talked to me about this whole plot and I wrote it for her. We decided to stop it at a certain point but maybe I'd do a following if we/I feel it!!!
> 
> Also, I've dislexia and english isn't my first language so sory for all the mistakes ToT 
> 
> Thank you for your interest on the fanfiction, have fun, stay hydrated and remember: you are loved by someone!!!

“I looked everywhere and I can’t found him.”

As the words echoed in the room, Ienzo turned slowly on his chair and threw a look to Lea who just entered the room, his red hair wet and dripping along his skin.

“Hello, Lea. It’s such a pleasure to see you,” Ienzo smiled to him.

“Yeah, hello,” he said walking to him.

“You’re talking about Saïx?”

“Isa,” Lea replied as he arrived next to him. “I thought I’ll bring him back this time. That I could save him but… but it’s all over the same thing.”

Ienzo pressed his hand against his cheek as he was reading a book filled by a lot of information about the Heart.

“Why does it matter that much for you? Didn’t he bring forth his doom by acting that way? He never followed you when you retired from the Organization. The best thing you never done if you want my opinion.”

Lea looked him, brows frowned. “He could be… how do you say ‘not alive’?”

Ienzo looked up at him, agape.

“Are you mocking me? Dead!”

“In our case!!” Lea protested, hitting his own Heart.

“Oh? Well… dead works fine here.”

“Dead…” Lea sat on the desk, his eyes wide open. “Do… Do you think Isa is dead?”

“I don’t know. I believe it’s a really fortunate chance that we’re all there again. Fourteen beings supposed not to be there and… yet. Losing our Hearts was supposed to be… the real end. I would never have the chance to feel again.”

Lea got up and paced like a lion in cage. His fists were clenched.

“He can’t be…”

“It’s dangerous to die, relive and die again. He’s not immortal.”

“Shut up!” Lea replied, turning wildly to him. “Shut up! Even went back!” he remembered in fury.

Ienzo looked down but did nothing to ask him to not walk on this path. Having talking about the possibility of Isa’s death, Lea was totally in right to remind him that Vexen had killed himself in the hope of being whole again…

The worst in this has been the waiting time.

But Even went back to them in contrary of Isa.

That was the reason Ienzo thought he hadn’t get the chance to be recomplete. There were so many reasons for that. Like the fact that his whole being has been melted with Xehanort’s for so long. The man being dead now, who know what that had can do to Isa’s body…

“Perhaps your best friend will come back too.”

“My best friend?” Lea replied.

“Are you with me?” Ienzo wondered. “We’re discussing about Isa.”

“Oh…”

Ienzo got up too, laying down his book and approaching him.

“What’s happing in your brain, please?”

“It’s just that… Isa isn’t my best friend?”

“Oh… You mean…” Ienzo whispered.

“Yep!”

“Congratulation!”

“For Isa being my friend?” Lea asked. “Woah! That’s quite rude! You know that I have a lot of friends?!”

Ienzo looked him, blinking.

“I… Yes, you’re right. I supposed Isa was your best friend, I apologize.”

“Honestly, I don’t know what is it to have a best friend,” Lea replied, sitting in the table next to him.

“It’s your favorite friend. Forasmuch as you have a lot of friends, you have a favorite friend, am I wrong?”

“I love every of my friends the same way!” Lea grinned. “I’d say… with some of my friends, you don’t need to have enemies, right, Ienzo?!”

“For the last time, this cup of coffee wasn’t mean to be drink by you and I didn’t try to poison you. Thought, yes, I still wish to have my revenge on you for what you did to us,” he replied with the most adorable smile.

“I still don’t buy! You can’t make me believe this coffee was really yours!”

“And yet, it was.”

“No one drink a coffee with what? Seven spoon of coffee?! No way!”

“It was eight and I do.”

“You should be dead.”

“Is it a thread?” he replied with a smirk.

“Maybe?” Lea smiled.

Ienzo replied to it. In a way, he was happy because Lea wasn’t thinking about the possible death of his… not best friend. But then he was a bit surprised because in the Organization, it was obvious that Axel was peculiar for Saïx and he had always been with him. It was at its credits to love every of his friend the same way but on the other hand, Ienzo couldn’t believe it was real. It seemed to be unfair. How could you like someone who had shared your life for more than fifteen years in the exact same way that someone you just met a bunch of time?

“But…”

Lea glanced toward the window. It was raining outside and the sound of the drops hitting the window had something frightening because… it was so unusual for this place to suffer the rain…

It was always so beautiful here…

“You think he’s alive, somewhere?”

“What am I supposed to reply, Lea?” Ienzo wondered.

“Yes?” he whispered.

“He’s probably somewhere. But he needs time.”

“I’ll wait for him then,” he said.


	2. Chapter 01 : First steps

When the Big War was finished, that didn’t stop the Darkness to keep flowing everywhere. Seeing Heartless, or sometime Nobodies, was something usual. Frightening but usual… No one knew about the Big War, the War between the Light and the Darkness that almost made relive the Keyblade War, but they knew about the Darkness and what they needed to fear…

And there weren’t enough Masters in the whole Universe to be sure every Worlds were protected. But they could have agents, people checking around. People cherry-pick and able to contact the King Mickey Mouse himself.

Radiant Garden, with Aeleus and Dilan, had nothing to worry.

Destiny Island, with Riku, mostly, but also Kairi, had really nothing to worry.

The Land of departure, with everything around, with Aqua, Terra and Ventus that could be spread in the area, they had nothing to worry. At all.

Disney World… they could count on Mickey, Donald and Goofy. Even Minnie when the King had to move away.

But with all those important World, they stayed another: Twilight Town.

Someone had to take care of it. And if Hayner, Pence and Olette, or even Seifer, Fuu and Rai, or Vivi, could be there… you couldn’t really expect from them to hold back horde of Creatures filled by Darkness…

That was where Lea’s role came. At first, Mickey had thought about Roxas and Xion but Lea had refused. They both deserved to grow up without having an unbearable burden on their shoulders. And while Riku _wanted_ to help and protect his World, for everything he had done wrong in his life, it wasn’t Roxas and Xion’s wish.

So Lea accepted to be the one holding Twilight Town in one piece.

He was the guard of the World.

He would be the one killing Heartless any time they would appear. Same for Nobodies.

The thing was that… well, there weren’t many around. So he could be really elegant in his Guard uniform’s, wearing a top, pants and boots, all in black and hard leather, plus a red jacket with a hoodie and some piece of armor in even harder leather but that didn’t help him much…

In the end, he was more being pretty for giving a Hope, a feeling of Security for everybody than really helping. And if he received grin and look very often, he could only count on him to buy him ice cream!

The one he had between his lips was exactly like the others.

He had to wait for so long, doing patrol in the streets, that he just couldn’t help buying some.

That kept him hydrated and busy, at least…

“Axel! Axel! AXEL!!”

“Axel!!”

Lea looked to the side of the street. From there, there were two teenagers running to him. So he could guess school was over because the two of them were really assiduous. One more than the other.

He moved his hand to them with a big smile and suck back his ice cream.

“Axel!”

“Axel!”

Both arrived at the same moment and they laughed as they were trying to catch their breath. Roxas had his hand on his side, hiccupping while laughing and Xion was just bent in two.

“Keep calm!” Lea said to them. “I know you have all the reasons to be happy to see me but no need to kill yourself!” he said with a happy tone.

“Of course we’re happy,” Xion replied.

Roxas nodded slightly. “But we also need to go at the Library!”

“Let me guess,” he said, “you need my card.”

“Maybe?” Roxas smiled.

“Oops?” Xion laughed a bit.

Lea let out a sigh with a smile.

Twilight Town was an amazing World and he liked a lot of their politics here but he also hated a lot of them. For example, though the children and teenagers looked pretty independent here, adults were needed in a lot of things. As stupid as it was, a library card was only given to an adult. Probably to keep an eye on children’s reading. Or because you have to pay a bit every year so they could provide more books in the library, pay the employees and everything.

But it was such a purge for minors to have books.

Fortunately, Lea was Roxas and Xion’s legal tutor.

“Where are your friends? They don’t need the card?” Lea asked.

“It’s group project but we can’t go in group of five. So Roxas and I decided to work on seashells! We will tell how they live and everything!” Xion explained happily as they walked toward the library.

“Seashells? I’m not so surprised,” he smiled.

“Why?” Roxas wondered.

“You both love seashells. There are seashells everywhere. And that time we ate great scallop, Xion decorate them. I still have mine!” he smiled proudly.

“You do?” she smiled back.

“Yeah!”

“That’s so cute!”

“We should go back at the beach, soon!” Roxas said.

“Yes, we should!” Xion replied.

“For school work or for fun?” Lea teased.

“Both!” they laughed together.

“And what your friends are doing as work?” the man asked.

“Something about the subjectivity of mysteries and difficulties.”

“Woah! That looks absolutely great! And complicate!” Lea noticed as they were walking.

He was truly surprised by the amount of work they would have to do. He didn’t know if one could really understand that. Pence looked really smart though. But if only one was doing the job and not the others, that would be lame.

“Yes! They’ll have great grades,” Xion guessed.

“Yup. And we’ll do our best too!” Roxas added.

“You’re only two in your group?”

Lea turned at a corner. The library wouldn’t be very away from here now. Twilight Town was a big city with a lot of things but Fortunately, the main things were gathered in the center so it wasn’t long for them. Though the problem would be when you were living very away from the down town.

Lea’s salary was quite low so, yes, he was living really away from there, in the cheap rent house, and they had to walk a lot every day to come home. It was fine for him. At least, he kept his fit.

“Yeah. Normally it’s by group of three but we were one short,” Roxas replied.

“I’m sorry,” Lea said.

“That’s okay,” Xion smiled. “We will do our best!”

“Sure!”

Lea grinned back and they walked a bit more. He still had his ice cream and licked or bit in it once in a while as they were moving.

“You could share?” Roxas wondered.

“Na, this thing has been way too much in my mouth! And I read in a book you have to eat healthy!” he added, moving the melting ice cream to them.

He had to take more books at this subject.

He was really doing his best with Roxas and Xion but it was really hard for him. All his life, he had struggled to simply live. All his life, he did his best but have only his own fate on his shoulders. So failing wasn’t really grave. And, at some point, he had Saïx’s life too but on the other hand, his friend was holding his life too. They were helping each other and when he failed, Saïx was here to help him getting up.

Until everything shattered…

Now he was alone, supposed to take care of them… And he has no right to fail.

“We should do some groceries when you’ll have your books. Do you have school tomorrow?” he asked with a grimace.

“Yes,” Xion replied.

“You’re not sure we shouldn’t do the groceries Friday or Saturday?” Roxas offered.

“Yeah, you’re certainly right,” Lea said.

He didn’t want them to go sleep too late.

Technically, they were just puppet but they were also so full of life, thank to Even’s work. He had made them so Humans. They could breath, get exhausted, sleep, eat, laugh… They were just child and they deserved the best. They deserved the life he was trying to give them.

And even more…

As they continued to walk, they arrived to the library and Lea pushed the door for them. Xion thanked him and they moved through the shelfs to find books about seashells.

Lea wondered if he had to stay with them.

It was perhaps bad to let them alone like that. Even in a library. And he could see the woman in the reception looking him with piercing eyes as he had his ice cream in the mouth, sucking it while walking next to them.

The books that interested him where very away and he wasn’t sure he would be proud to show his reading to the teenagers…

As their tutors, he was supposed to be better than that.

“Stay kind. I’ll finish that outside before the librarian kills me!”

It would be the height of absurdity for him.

“Okay!” Xion said to him.

Lea smiled to them and ruffled their hair, just after having slid the ice cream in his mouth, and then went out of the library.

He finished the ice cream quickly and, the head a bit hurtful, he threw the stick in the trash to come back in the building. He looked quickly in the big room with numerous shelves popping here and there in a colorful maze.

He rubbed his nape as he was searching, with his eyes, the correct area. Big signs were leading everybody to the section you wished for. So you could see Roxas’ peculiar mane in the zoology part of the library and, slowly, discretely, he went to the psychology part. And from there, he needed to find where he had to go.

And there, it was harder.

Colors and indications were supposed to help you to lead you in the very good shelves.

But… how should he find the books? Each time he thought he was finding what he needed… he got wrong. He didn’t need to take care of babies. He didn’t need to know how to calm teenager that would be out of controls…

He bit his lower lips as he found a book that wanted to teach him how to correctly talk with ‘his’ children. That wasn’t for him at all. He had quite good dialogues with the two teenagers…

He looked around.

He needed help…

He noticed someone that was putting back books, few shelves away.

All he could see was a leg and a part of chest with an arm moving. So… he guessed it was an employee.

Lea walked to them and his head peaked.

“Excuse m…”

He froze when he saw the person that was installing the books on their right place.

There, he could see a face he knew very well.

“Isa?” he hiccupped.


	3. The Librarian

At the corner of the street of shelves full of books, Lea was blinking. The librarian pushing the books on their right place turned his turquoise eyes toward him. The light in the cellar made shine golden and honeyish sparkle in them and even the slightly tanned skin. He could recognize it. As much as the firm face or the long hair melting navy and baby blue tone in a strict bun. Okay, he wasn’t used to see them tied but yes. It was them!

The librarian turned his head and started again to push book at their place. And even turned his back to him to go on the other side of this shelf…

“Isa?” he asked.

The Librarian didn’t turn toward him.

“I’m Lea… Do you remember me?”

“Yes. Of course, I remember you, Lea,” he said, turning toward him.

“Oh thanks!! I was so afraid since you were leaving like that! And you never came back…” he said. “I was waiting for you…”

Isa turned toward him.

“I didn’t know you were truly waiting for me.”

“I said I was waiting for you,” Lea smiled. “We said ‘see you’! Don’t you remember?”

Isa nodded slightly and pushed the books in their place once again.

Lea walked toward him, feeling bad now. He nibbled his lower lip with tense.

“You didn’t want to come back?” he muttered.

“I thought you would be better without me,” Isa replied, without looking him. “You’re with Roxas and Xion, isn’t it?”

“Yes. I’m taking care of ‘em… Well, as much as I can?” he stammered. “But I expected you to come back… I was afraid you were there and all this time…”

“I was right under your nose?” Isa replied with a tiny smile.

In fact, you had to know him to know he was smiling.

“Yeah… You were there? Since the beginning?”

“I’m here since twenty-nine days.” He looked him. “And half.”

“Woaw…”

“I saw you a couple of time, to be fair.”

“I _never_ noticed you?”

“Never. Why are you in the psychology section?” he asked to him, placing another book at its place.

“Oh… I search a book because as a parent, I’m lame.”

“And I’m sure you’re not.” Isa installed another volume then moved to a shelf at the other side of the corridor of bookstand. “But you won’t find anything here. Believe me.”

“I always believed you,” Lea replied, following him.

To this, Isa didn’t reply, just walking through the shelves. And since Lea didn’t have stop to follow him, he really hoped his friend expected him to go behind him. Or he’ll be really weird…

But Isa say nothing.

He walked in this maze and stopped at a point to push another book in place.

“So. Uuuuuh… You found a job easily?”

“Yes. And you?”

“Yeah. Mickey pulled strings for me. The mouse even created a work for me. Can you imagine that?” he said.

“You always had a lot of luck. And you did much for the Worlds, it was the less they could do for you. I hope this bring you a correct life?” he said.

“Yes. I hopped to have a lot of ladies fighting for me and all but… I’m disappointed. Nop! Not a single one.”

Isa glanced at him and then looked one of the books he still had with him.

“What are you seeking for exactly with your parenthood?”

“Parenthood?” Lea repeated, lost.

“Yes. You said you were a lame parent.”

“Woah, yeah. I didn’t realized… Ugh…” Lea ruffled his hair with a tiny laugh. “All of that is quite… you know? I’ve two children to take care of, and they act like teenagers but sometimes, they’re not really really teenager-like and now I find you here? I’m still…”

“I have to stow the books but when you’ll be decided, you can come to see me and I’ll help you. Unless you prefer another librarian to help you, of course. We’re plenty and you’ll have the help you need. Don’t hasten yourself, please.”

Isa bowed slightly his head then moved to the end of the shelves.

The books rained on the floor when Lea grabbed his wrist and tugged him to him.

“Oh shit, shit, shit!”

Quickly, he knelt and gathered he books.

“If ever they’re damaged, I’ll pay them back! I swear! I’m sorry!”

“Don’t worry, Lea.” Isa knelt with him and took a book and smoothed a ruffled page. “They’ve received worst.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Everything is alright.”

“Isa.”

Hearing his name, the man looked up at him. In fact, it was even more pleasant because it was this voice singing his name. Every day, he could hear someone calling his name, a few time per day, because he immediately pushed back that ‘Saïx’ as soon as he could. And it has been such a relieve. Especially when his eyes, and the delicate shape of his ears, still said to him he belonged to Xemnas, somewhere. Same for that ugly scar on his forehead. And what about the others… The scars laying in his body, in the secret of his clothes?

Lea didn’t know them.

He knew almost none of them…

Just that X…

“I’m really sorry. I mean it. For everything,” he said. “I’m sorry for having left the Organization without you. Sorry for having misunderstood your warning? Sorry for having think _I_ needed to bring you home. Sorry for…” Lea sighed and looked down. “Sorry for having wanted to become Ansem’s apprentice. All of this, this was my fault. What happened to you… And I failed you so often… I’m the bad friend but… But it’s selfish, I know, but I don’t want to lose you…”

“You don’t have to apologize. I’ve to…”

“To what? To nothing! You even don’t have to forgive me! You were protecting your life!” He looked down again. “I was doing the same but it was selfish.”

Isa bent and took the book he had in his hand to check it wasn’t too damaged.

“When it came to save your own life, there is no wrong manner, I believe.”

He took another book and stacked it on the two first.

“I didn’t want to reappear in your life for I felt like it was the wrong thing to do. Last time we saw each other, Roxas and Xion were there. I can’t accept them. I didn’t want to hurt you. I never wanted it.”

Lea sat on the floor and grabbed two books to look through the pages.

“I… I searched you everywhere. I convinced myself you were died.”

“I’m sorry to h…”

“Stop!”

Isa looked him, a novel in his hand. The pages were in a really sad look and some would need a bit of glue but… he wasn’t sure it wasn’t already like that before.

“I’m really the only one that have to apologize, Isa.”

The man put another book on the stack. Silent.

“Would you be okay to be my friend again?” He felt that he was too asserting and added with a laugh: “And help me to find a good book?”

“Tell me what you seek for.”

“I don’t really know how to that care of Roxas and Xion. Sometimes I think I’m too kind? And don’t know how to do to help them with school? Don’t know neither how to give them correct food?”

“Very well. I can lend you a few books. Let me look where they are stocked,” he said, getting up with the books in his arms.

“You really have some?”

Isa nodded.

He walked to the others shelves and stopped at one to type on a keyboard connected to a computer screen.

Lea got up and came to him. He took care to not look over his shoulders because he knew Isa hated that. He always did even if he let him do all the time… He wanted to take really care of not hurting him.

Not again.

“I’ve one book about nutrition; two on the teenager psychology; one about very young parent, often taken by brother or sister needing to take care of their sibling; one about the education in general and another one about the psychology of a parent. I believe it helps you to love yourself…”

“I love myself! I’m awesome!”

Isa turned his head toward him.

“I can believe that.”

Lea laughed and rubbed his hair. “I was mostly joking.”

“You could love yourself,” Isa said. “It’s five books, you can take them.”

“It’s okay to have that much? Roxas and Xion need their books too!”

“You are a great parent, Lea, I don’t doubt it. I’m sure you don’t need those books. Anyway, yes, you can lend up to ten books.”

“Woah, that place is awesome! I just took the card because it could be useful for Roxas and Xion but never came.”

“I know,” Isa said, walking to the sections.

“I should have come earlier!”

Isa nodded slightly.

In fact, even if he didn’t come back to him, because he wanted him to be happy and to cut with a horrendous past that he could only remember to him… yes, he wished to have seen him earlier.

He had missed so much talking with Lea.

They walked through the shelves and Isa gathered those he talked about to give them to his friend.

Which thanked him each time and hesitated.

When they were child, it was easy to see each other because he just asked him to hang out and it was done. For almost eleven years, they were together all the time so, once again, being together wasn’t a problem at all. They were there, they just had to be there for the others.

Even if he kept thinking he had failed.

But now?

They were adults.

What could he offer?

He wanted to see him more…

“Eh! You wanna go out with me?”

Isa turned his head toward him as he was taking one of the book.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Go out with me! You know, you, me, alone… walking somewhere? Like in the beach, looking the sunset then the Moon?” Lea said with a smile.

“With me?”

“Yes! With whom else?” the other smiled, holding out his hand, brushing his.

Isa gave him the book and moved back to go to the others titles that interested them.

“It’s temping,” he said. “When?”

“I missed you so much, Isa. When you want.”

The librarian grabbed another book and it was weird for his Heart. After eleven years, almost twelve, without Heart, it was hard to deal with it… One month. Sometimes, it seemed like Hell because he couldn’t understand enough what information it sent to him.

Here, it was so happy, beating so hard that he could barely breathe…

“Do you need to come back to…” Isa glanced at him. “Roxas and Xion?”

“I don’t know. Should I?” Lea looked the book he had on hands. It was the one about nutrition. “Would it be reasonable?”

“You have your own life, you know? You can’t stop you to life just because you have them to take care of.”

“Someone is really eager to have fun with me, right?!” Lea teased.

He winked to him and passed his hand on his pant, searching his pocket.

Isa showed him his back and walked to another area, grabbing the fourth book. His fingers were slightly shivering and he breathed slowly to calm himself.

“I don’t have my card!”

Isa turned his eyes sparkling with gold to him.

“Shit! Isa!” Lea came to him and took his hand between his… or his hand and the book between his. “Please, please, please! Can you do something for me? For your Lea! Pleaaaase! I’ll do whatever you wanna!”

“You’ll never change.”

“Please!” Lea put a knee on the floor. “I’m begging you.”

Isa looked him, his other fingers clenching around the books he still hadn’t stocked back.

“Are you okay to give me your card? Please?” He frowned. “You have a card, right?”

“As long as I have your name, I can found your card on the computer. We tend to avoid this because we’re losing time but, yes, I can save you.”

“Yes!” Lea bounced on his feet and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re the best! I finally will be a good parent thanks to you! In many way because, you know if ever Roxas and Xion couldn’t have their books…”

“Hm,” he replied. “Grant you an evening. It’s verily in one of those titles.”

“Okay, this evening I’m all yours! Let’s see… Hm… what about seven pm? We can grab something to eat?”

Isa extended the book to him.

“When do we meet?”

“I come at yours? Except you’re too afraid to say to me where you live?” he said, taking the book.

“I’m not afraid. Not when it’s about you,” Isa said with a tiny smile.

“Perfect. It’s on!”


	4. Chapter 03: On your Mark

Just a t-shirt and an old jean for clothes, his bare feet against the cold tiled ground, Lea was trying to make the food. He wanted to take a shower but it was already six pm and he was completely lost. When he read the box, it didn’t seem hard at all but… but he was only on the pasta and something went wrong.

He groaned.

He shouldn’t have followed the book Isa gave him. Usually, he was taking food outside or preparing thing already made. He just had to put them on the microwave or in a pan. He already had the habit to burn them a bit but if you sort them, you could actually eat the food without too much problem but there… can you explain him how he ended with burning pastas?

Literally.

There was fire coming from his spaghettis right now. And, arms folded, his box in the hand, he was absolutely sure this wasn’t normal.

Now, he hesitated much to prepare the cheese sauce that must go with it. It seemed to be a huge error but on the other hand, he couldn’t give burned pasta without sauce to Roxas and Xion!

The two of them were in the living room, in front of the TV while doing their homework. They had mathematic and language to works and their group presentation, of course. He didn’t know if letting them in front of cartoon was a good idea but why not?

Ugh, he really needed to read the books he borrowed from Isa’s Library. Took it wasn’t _his,_ he was just an employee, of course. But now, for him, it was Isa’s Library! And he hoped he could see him every day now!

When they were young, it was like that. He only lived to see him. His day always become better when he was there…

Still looking the flaming pastas, he grabbed a bottle of soda and took a sip. Maybe Ienzo wasn’t wrong? Isa wasn’t a friend like the others. When he saw Isa, his Heart had hammering and he had felt butterflies in his stomach. It was like that when he saw Saïx on the clock tower too… He was so sad that the conversation had been really tense… And the time after? He had to fight against him and that was horrible. Every time he hurt him, every time he was hurt by him…

He never felt worst than when he was in conflict with him.

Isa was important for him.

Really important.

He asked himself once again. What was the difference between friend and best friend? Ienzo said that a best friend was a favorite friend. Honestly, he didn’t know if Isa was his best friend but he was the one he wanted the most in his life. The one he had in his life since the longest time…

Maybe he was never worrying for him because he always knew they’d found each other again? They had followed the same path for so long.

Okay! But that didn’t help him with those pasta.

He couldn’t ask Roxas and Xion…

Lea took a long wooden spoon and pushed the spaghettis down.

“YES!” he said happily when he saw the fire vanishing in the boiling water.

The steam swirled in the kitchen, bringing a strange smell and he wished it wouldn’t come to the living room. Not now. Especially not with some burning stench melting with it.

But now, he felt more confident!

He added oil in the water and salt. The foam almost jumped out of the pot and he groaned.

But everything was alright!

He could handle all of that.

He looked at the clock, forty minutes left before the date. It still could do it! Finishing the pasta, giving food to the teenagers, taking a quick shower… Hm, fixing his mane could be challenging though.

But he would do it!

He glanced at the box again and grabbed the correct ingredients. Now, the harder will come, he knew it. Having struggle that much with pasta, he was sure it would be really interesting with the sauce. He started by slicing butter in a huge pan and searched for another wooden spoon, letting the other among the pasta. He could hear Roxas and Xion in the living room, they were giggling and sharing their homework’s answers. Maybe he should interfered? It wasn’t good if Xion kept giving him the right replies…

He approached the big threshold and listened.

“And there, it’s X exponent four…”

He stepped forward.

“But why?”

“Becauuuuse exponent meaaaan?”

“Ugh…X multiplying X multiplying X multiplying X multiplying X? That’s too much X!”

“I know,” she laughed softly. “And yes. Which mean?”

Roxas didn’t reply for few seconds. “Oh! We have to do sixty-nine four root?”

“Yes.”

“Is it only possible to calculate this?”

“Take your calculator, idiot!”

Lea couldn’t help but smile hearing them like that. He could remember some part of his past with her and knew it was like that before. It was still confuse for him because there was so many blank in his memories… He always said that to Saïx a bit before leaving the Citadel and trying to save his life. Something was missing. Too many piece of him. At this time, he was sure it was because of Xemnas… When the only thing you have was memories, and when it was so important for you, you couldn’t let that pass. It was one of the main reason he left, even if Saïx had begged him to stay.

In his own way.

Though he knew he had letting him go when the thread of being transformed in a Dusk had hovered above his head. And he also knew that Xemnas asked Saïx to kill him for his betrayal… Because Xemnas only wanted to separate them, to destroy them. To destroy Saïx.

He hated himself for having letting him there…

And yet… without Naminé, he would never know that. Saïx, and so Isa, kept that secret. As if he didn’t want to lay this burden on his shoulders.

Yes, at Radiant Garden, just before this huge battle, he feared Saïx when he saw him… only because he thought his friend would do everything to bring him among the Organization. Because Saïx seemed to be a little be more Human when he was around… He thought Saïx was selfish. He was the one selfish.

Now, he knew how much Saïx could have brought him back to the Organization at the right second he wished it but never did.

The butter singing in the pan brought him to reality and he ran to the oven. The butter was brown and even a bit black. Though, he put the flour on it and started to melt. Just a bit. He added a lot of milk and mixed again while adding what was inside the box a strange powder with cheese on it and colorful spices. As he kept mixing, he grabbed some cheese in the fridge and added more. As some salt, pepper and nutmeg. He mixed, mixed and mixed again.

He looked to the pasta.

It was full of lumps. It almost looked like a big porridge and he bent to the pot. He frowned and added a bit of salt to be sure. He mixed again.

And wondered how he has to deal with the food now. The sauce seemed to be ready but not the pasta… and a bit of said sauce or water with slop bounced to him. He turned to the living room and walked to there. The cartoons were still playing when they were doing their homework.

“Everything is alright?” he asked.

“Yes,” Xion said with a smile.

“Yup!” Roxas looked up at him. “Eh! You can show us how to use the discovery channel?”

“Uugh… I think we need to check that after the food. I don’t know how we do. It’s for your seashells?”

“Yes!” Roxas smiled.

“I think it’ll be easier to buy what you want in the catalogue but there again, I’m not good with this TV.”

“You mean you can’t memorize how it works?!” Xion teased.

Lea laughed back. “Yeah, I can’t memorize everything! But there is something I’ll never forget!”

“What?” they asked together.

“How much I love you!” he said, coming to hug them.

Of course, the homework was immediately forgotten and they hugged each other.

“We love you too!” Xion grinned.

“Even if you’re stingy and gross!” Roxas laughed.

“Eh!” Lea protested.

“Don’t you have a date?” the boy asked, pushing him back with a smirk.

“That’s not a date. We’ll hang out with Isa. That’ll be nice!”

“I hope you’ll have fun!” Xion said.

“Yeah.” Roxas looked him as Lea sat next to them. “Are you excited?”

“Yes! And sorry to leave you alone while I’ll be there. But you’re all grown up now. I’m not worrying for you!”

Roxas keep smiling, looking the man that had splatter of food on him. He really needed a shower.

“What should we do if someone tries to enter home?” he asked.

“Well, I don’t doubt you’ll kick their ass!” Lea laughed.

He smelled something. Burning?

“Damn!”

He quickly got up and ran to the kitchen. He turned off the sauce and watched the pasta. Perfect, no more water! He glanced at the clock and saw he still had twenty-five minutes left. More than perfect. He grabbed two soup plates and installed at the tiny table in the kitchen. There was another table in a tiny room but they used it mostly to put things on it. Right now, there were some folders and a lot of clothes.

So this place was perfect. He grabbed two sodas for them and glanced to the book he borrowed at the library. It was correct or not? He didn’t know yet…

He’ll fix that when he’ll knew!

He finished dressing the table and mixed pasta and sauce then put some in each dishes.

“It’s ready!” he shouted.

The two teenagers arrived pretty quickly. They were all smiling until they saw what was in their dishes…

“Lea?” Xion said.

“Yep?” he asked as he was stretching.

Twenty-two minutes left.

He needed to take a shower now. He’ll already be late.

“You’re sure this is eatable?”

“Yeah. That’s pasta?” he replied to Xion.

“You don’t want to try before poisoning us?” Roxas asked.

“Because what? If someone has to die, that must be me?” Lea laughed.

“Nooo!” Xion replied.

“Of course not!” Roxas said. “But we’re saying you’re an assassin so who knows? Maybe you’re plotting against us. What Saïx thinks about that?”

“About hanging out? He’s happy,” he answered.

Lea grabbed a fork and plunged it in Roxas’ dish. He tasted it. And turned to spat in the sink.

“Fuck! That’s horrible! Don’t eat that!!”

“What should we do then?” Xion wondered.

“Ugh… good question. I was supposed to prepare a good meal…” He sighed. “There is still some noodle or stuff to cook in microwave.” One more sigh. “I’ll try to be a good parent tomorrow, ‘kay?”

“You’re already a good parent!” Xion said.

“Why did you even tried? We’re good with what we’re eating usually,” Roxas replied.

“But that’s not good enough,” he pointed out. “Listen! I’ll do better pasta! You’ll eat correctly!”

“Do you need help?” Xion asked.

“I need you to do your homework!” Lea answered with a smile.

He walked to his gummiphone. If he called Scrooge, maybe he could have some tips… And since Sora had helped a lot the restaurant, maybe. Maybe…

He’ll do it!

Isa had finished his duty at six pm. Which left one hour for him to get prepared. First thing he had done when he arrived was to take a shower, and then to dry his longs hair and put something in his back. He was in a black trouser and in a turtleneck with laces for the sleeves. Laces forming moons and stars. He had tried to arrange a bit the outfit so he could be fancier but it wasn’t good enough for him. As much as his hairs. He had tried something better than a strict bun, tried to show some taste by doing a high pony tail but… it wasn’t good.

At all.

Finally, he was doing tiny braid on each side of his hairs and tied them. It wasn’t much but it showed a bit of effort, at least.

And it was seven pm in few minutes…

Just on time!

He walked to his living room and started to pace. Waiting.

As he was moving, something tugged on his pant so he looked down. It was a white bunny with black falling ears and black spots everywhere.

He crouched and took the pet in his arms, hugging her slowly and carefully.

“I’m fine, Yutu.”

The rabbit raised herself in his arms and nibbled softly his face in bunny kisses.

“I’m just stressed,” he said to her.

He caressed her fur, soft and fluffy. Yutu, as she was called, stopped to nibble but rubbed her face against him. He watched the clock, looked the hand moving slowly, caressing the bunny.

When seven pm hit, he turned toward the door and his breathe was taken away.

But no ring at his doorbell.

Yutu looked up at him and nibbled again his face in soft kisses. He caressed her again, looking the door.

It wasn’t strange that Lea wasn’t there. His friend wasn’t exactly one-time. He could wait!

Seven pm passed by twenty-three minutes.

Isa was lying on the sofa, caressing the bunny that robbed her fluffy head against him, giving him soft kisses and even tried to eat his hairs to distract him.

At least, he was convinced it was that.

It wasn’t logical and, in fact, he was pretty sure he imagined a lot of Yutu’s behavior but that eased him.

The Academic Quarter was passed.

Lea wouldn’t come.

He closed his eyes, feeling so much pain in his Heart, hating to have one.

At least… at least, he had seen him and that was for the best? But he wanted, ached, to see him more…

Yutu jumped and laid on the side. Isa opened one eye and let a tiny smile appear in his lips as he noticed that she was showing him true confidence and happiness, being in his arms, against that stupid Heart.

“Thank you,” he muttered, before pressing a kiss in her fluffy fur, just on a black spot.


	5. Home alone

His back was hurtful.

He was still on the sofa, it wasn’t really good and he was just laying there. With no sound around, with just the tiny noises coming from the bunny on his chest when she was moving around. Sometimes, she hopped on the floor, moved in the living room and then came back for more cuddle. He didn’t try to keep her because he wanted her free. But he could use longer hugs, honestly.

On the other hand, he should get up and go to see after something to eat…

But he convinced him that his rabbit will come back when she left and when she was there, he just couldn’t push her away.

So he was lying there, even if it was in a bad position, his back hurting him.

It was really not agreeable but he knew he could fall asleep there at some point. Or he’ll do a sleepless night. Both were fine. He was used to the two… Not when he was Human but at the Organization, yes. His devotion had no limit… And he always knew it was wrong. But he couldn’t stop himself. If Xemnas had what he needed, he felt eased… That was all.

And now, he was just lost.

His boss at the Library had been so surprised by his way to react, the need to follow the exact rules, the over-zealousness. He had tried to calm him down at first, but he couldn’t just stay there sitting, doing nothing… Of course, he _did_ it because it had been asked but his hands were fidgeting all the time and as soon as he received a task, he seemed so relieved. That was the reason, he finished to have so much to do at work.

But this was fine.

Especially because he was often lost at home, with nothing to do…

You could almost think he was maniac because he kept tidying up his house to busy his mind… But he needed really little sleep and had nothing to do… Sometimes, he was letting himself thing about Lea but not today. Today, it was hurting his Heart because he wished they could be together. Having seen him created such an ache in his Heart…

Why did he wish so much to have back this useless organ in his chest?

He heard his doorbell ringing and sighed. He wasn’t in the mood to get up and see what is was. Certainly the Neighbor’s girl. She always played a the ball and it often bounced above the hedge full of soft flowers only opening their petals under the moonlight. She came so often ring the bell for her ball. Usually he let her get it back but tonight…

Tonight he was really mentally exhausted.

He kept caressing Yutu, laying on his chest, nibbling at his fingers when they came too near of her mouth.

New ring and he groaned.

Nop.

Tomorrow if the father of the little girl came, he’d explain himself. But she also had to learn it wasn’t because something seemed to be hers that she just could take it every day. He wasn’t at her service. And, anyway, if Lea had come, he wouldn’t be able to open to her…

He opened one eye when he heard a sound at the door. Some jangled. Someone trying to enter his house…

Who?

Why?

He had nothing to give… His house was so empty…

The noise pursued. He frowned. Then got up, hugging Yutu with one arm and walking toward the door. The sound didn’t want to stop.

Someone was trying to enter here.

He moved his free hand so the claymore appeared in it. He stared the door, his huge weapon rising at the moment he saw the door opening.

And it almost slipped from his fingers when he saw the person on his doorsill.

“Lea?”

“Isa! What a way to welcome someone,” Lea smiled. “O. M. G. What a cute bunny!! You have a bunny?!”

He immediately approached the man to caress the rabbit that pressed herself against Isa.

“Take care, she’s shy,” he replied. “What are you doing here?”

Lea brushed an ear. “We said we’ll hang out!”

“Yes. The _rendezvous _was one hour and half ago,” he said.

“What? That much! Ugh, sorry. I knew I was late but… Ugh, I’m sorry!”

Isa realized now that Lea’s hair were wet, tied in a low tail that gave him a fox-look. He had a bit of make-up, subtle, and a fade blue holed jean with a black t-shirt where fire was printed and a white sentence saying ‘this boy is on fire’. He also had a leather jacket. He seemed to have put something on his back really fast. If it was quite normal for him, the hairs were still a bit weird.

“Something went wrong?”

“Yeah, I tried to do pasta for Xion and Roxas and… I failed. Twice. Then tried to do eggs for them and…”

“Failed?”

“Yes. In the end, I was a bad parent and just threw pizza in the oven and then I took a shower because ugh, I was really covered by food. I’m sorry… I didn’t know I was taking that much time.”

“It’s... That’s not grave,” Isa replied.

“I’m really really sorry. I was so excited to see you,” he said, looking up at him.

Their eyes plunged in each other’s. Isa did his best to not blush. His old friend was so close to him, his fingers caressing Yutu’s fur and brushing his chest. Sometimes, he even caressed his hair. Was it by mistake or will?

“Y… Yes, I understand. You’re not a bad parent, Lea. You never had the chance to learn to cook.”

“Well, you neither.”

Isa shook his head. “You forget that I’m living here since one month and…”

“Me too!”

“I don’t eat bad food.” Isa moved back and let the claymore vanish, casting him a piercing look. “And I have nothing to do except learning. It was a lot of theory but on time, it was helpful.”

“You always were the best!” Lea smiled. “You wanna grab something to eat outside?” he offered.

“No,’ Isa replied.

“Uh, I’m really sorry. And I know the Sun has set but…”

“The Moon is still there,” his friend pointed out with a smile.

He closed the door and crouched to put Yutu on the floor. When he got up, he cast him a tiny smile. That kind of smile only him could receive.

“What do you think about cooking pasta and eggs for us?”

“You… Ya wanna teach me to cook?”

“Yes,” Isa replied. “The idea pleases you?”

“That would be great!”

“Come.”

Isa walked to the kitchen. Lea followed him and glanced above his shoulder.

“And the bun’?”

“She’s okay. I let her move as she wish. Everything is secured.”

“You’re a way better parent than me!”

“I can teach you how to change your children’s litter if you want to,” Isa replied.

“Humor!” Lea laughed. As they arrived in the kitchen, he laid his elbow on a workbench next to a sink, and smiled to him. “I love when you joke, laugh… smile.”

He moved his fingers and brushed his hairs, the long locks falling on his chests.

“I love your hairstyle. That suits you well.”

“I didn’t do much,” he replied, a bit embarrassed.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Let’s pour water in a pot. You can add oil if you want to and the salt it’s either when the water boils or directly. Do it directly if you’re afraid to forget. But if you do it when it boil, in fact, the water will boil faster,” he explained, taking a pot and pouring said water.

Lea nodded.

“Gotcha!”

“What kind of sauce do you wish to make?”

“What… is the best with eggs?”

“Tomato would be better with eggs. We can do fried eggs or even omelet as you prefer. And we can change a bit the tomato sauce. Add mushrooms or meat, for example?”

“I’m really lucky to have you.”

“Don’t flatter me, Lea. That won’t work.”

Isa moved to grab mushrooms and meat in his freezer. He had to ruffle a bit, though everything was perfectly tidy, so he could find a bit of ham he planned to keep for his sandwich tomorrow. But this would be perfect for a fluffy omelet.

“I didn’t start to read your books really. I’ve a lot to do but I do plan to read them!”

“I don’t doubt it,” Isa replied. “You seem to really want to become a good parent for them.” Isa put down the ingredients and took a cut board and knives. “It’s what you wish, isn’t it? Becoming their parent.”

“Parent… Yeah. That’s a bit what’s remaining for me. I just love them. They’re so cute and they deserve the best!” Lea said with a big smile. “But… I can’t be their _friend_ you see? I can be the cool parent, yeah! But just friend? It seems hard.”

He pressed his chin against his hand.

“So… I need to become a good parent. Right?”

Isa held out the knife to him, the blade in his palm.

“You’ll be a good parent. And you’re right to not act like a friend with them.”

“Because they’re puppets?” Lea asked.

“Work please, rub the mushrooms with a paper if they’re dirty with earth and slice them.” Isa said, moving the knife.

Lea rose up, took the knife and tried to cut.

“So?”

Isa washed his hands then come next to him to show him.

“Yes, they’re puppets. Really good puppets if I believe what Vexen told me when he was in our side. I saw a lot of the improvements he did. Holes remain in my memories in regard of Xion… but I know that Roxas is way more alive that we could have been when we were Nobodies.” Isa moved on the side to grab pasta for the meal incoming. “He has a Heart. A real Heart. Nobodies can’t have Heart, at least not has fast if Vexen was right. And I do believe what he’s saying.”

“So, you’re jealous of him? Roxas. You had wished a Heart for so long…”

“Jealous?” Isa looked him. “I said to you I’ll never say again I’m jealous.”

“Right, but you said you’ll come back!”

“Never said that, actually,” his friend replied. “You expected it.” He closed his eyes one second then moved to him to show him how to hold better the knife to cut faster. “And I thank you for that.”

“I care for you, Isa!”

“Thank you.”

“So I suppose you’re jealous?” Lea teased. “Thank you,” he added since he was learning how to cut.

“Thank to you.”

“Why?”

“I’m…”

Isa had learnt to hide his emotions since he was a child. In a way, being a Nobody hadn’t been a big change for him… Though, he was feeling everything back this time, he was just hiding it. And he kept hiding it…

“It’s nice to see you, Lea.”

“It’s nice to see you too. I feel you… better than before.” He smiled to him at this words. “More… you?”

“I never changed, Lea. I may have done mistakes at your eyes but I never changed.”

“Oh, I’m… I’m sorry,” the redhead muttered.

He took new mushrooms and tried to cut them faster. He bit the inside of his cheek and wondered if he was the one that had changed in the end. Could he only ask it to Isa? He had wondered about that when they were still nobodies. But things were different back this time. He didn’t know what he had to do, they were just trying their best to continue. Because they have nothing.

Maybe they have changed anyway, to survive.

Maybe he was the only one who had changed? But he did saw Saïx becoming more and more dedicated to Xemnas. And he couldn’t follow him. He knew Saïx had plan at this time. He had plans too…

He was selfish at this time, isn’t it?

Yeah… he started to believe he was the one who had changed… and he thought Roxas and Xion made him better. Because he could think more about others. He hadn’t to fight for his life anymore, he hadn’t to protect him from every side. He could fully be the friend taking care of his others friends.

But Saïx, Isa… He never stopped to do his best for him. When he was in Xemnas’ good books, he took this advantage to offer him what he wanted. Now that he was cooking with him, talking about his _children_ as he still seemed to… not like them? After all, his thoughts wouldn’t change, not as soon and the both of them had attacked him… killed him.

He glanced at him while cutting the mushrooms and his Heart tightened a bit.

He even didn’t know why.


	6. Heart to Heart

“We…”

Lea gulped. He couldn’t believe it. And Isa had a tiny, and very cute, smile on his lips, was looking him. If the former Assassin would look at him, he would think he was absolutely beautiful. But he wasn’t looking him at all. The happiness was hugging him tightly. He was almost bouncing on place.

No wonder why Isa was smiling.

“We did it!” He bounced on place. “We really did it!”

He frowned, looking the spaghettis with a bit of tomato sauce on top, mushrooms peaking here and there, and a really fluffy omelet folded in two just on the side. It was dressed like in a beautiful restaurant but Lea wasn’t surprised at all. You could even see a bit of herbs on the top of the plate.

“But it is good?” he wondered, taking his fork. “Ah! I don’t doubt you’re doing really good meal! But since I helped…”

“I’m sure it will be really ambrosial.” Isa moved his hand. “Please, taste it.”

“You know…”

Lea plunged his fork in the pasta, still a bit laid again the work surface. Somewhat, he felt that was able to bother Isa because he always ate on table.

He swirled his fork.

“I love when you’re talking like that. Fancy words and all. Sometimes I don’t understand you. But I like that. When you’re doing it… I don’t feel like a dumbass.”

“Some people make you feel like… a loggerhead?” Isa wondered, a bit of worry in his voice.

He looked him as he was swallowing the pasta.

“Hm! So yummy!!” he said. “Thank you!!”

As he pronounced these words, he grabbed his plate and walked toward the table to sit down.

“I often feel like an idiot. I wasn’t raise in a big family, I learnt to read and write… well only thanks to you,” he sighed.

“You’re not dumb. It’s not your capacity to write and read or use fancy words that make you a clever person,” Isa said, sitting next to him.

“Maybe, yay. But you’re smart and skilled and everything! I mean… You’re really someone intelligent.”

Isa stared him as he was mixing the pasta and the sauce then swirled again to swallow a whole mouthful. He took his spoon to help him taking a really tiny amount of food.

His thoughts were also darker with this discussion and when he had ingested some pasta, he let out:

“Do you think I was intelligent when I was only following Lord Xemnas’ directive?”

“Yes,” Lea replied without a doubt. “You were doing your best. And you kept your head on your shoulders. It was difficult and you had… previsions for us?” He seemed to hesitate as he cut a piece of the omelet. “You protected us, right?”

“Yes. As much as I could.”

“I told you…” Lea hesitated too. He didn’t want to hurt him. He did it too much already… “That you weren’t cool. I was really rude to you.”

“It didn’t matter. I just wished to keep you save.”

“Did I hurt you?” Lea asked, looking him.

Isa slice a bit of omelet with fork and knife. He brought it at his mouth, as if he was fleeing. Flee wasn’t his best friend’s style and Lea could understand how much he acted badly by the past.

“Isa?”

“You never hurt me as you feel it.”

“Then, how?” Lea wondered.

“Lea…”

“Please, tell me. I can change. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“It’s probable you would do it again.”

“Do it again? Why? I don’t want to hurt you, Isa! I care for you. Can’t you sense it? You think I just want you to teach me thing?”

“I always did that after all,” Isa replied, firmer, colder.

It was just because he pushed this conversation, though, but now, it wasn’t wrong… He was the one who had taught him how to read, how to count, to write… He taught him everything his teachers taught him and in return, Lea had helped him in his own way. Because his happiness, his joke was such a relieve. Such a pleasure.

“Come on, Isa! Don’t think I’m using you! That’s not my kind! You always have mattered for me! You’re my friend!”

Isa’s fork slid in the pasta, screeching against the dish and he looked up at him. His eyes weren’t sparkle at all. Even the gold seemed to have disappeared to the darkened color…

“Of course, I’m just your friend,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry. I know the whole thing of ‘best friend’ but I don’t know what is a best friend? _What_ is a best friend? I suck at having friend! I just want people to remember me and that’s all but you… Maybe, yes, you are my best friend. I don’t kn…”

“Then, why did you left me?” Isa muttered.

He got up and walked to the living room because he needed to free his mind from the situation. He was ridicule. Of course he was… his feelings had just pierced his Heart and now he was on the edge of shattering…

How can he have hopped for Lea to love him?

He was a friend for him. _Just a friend._ When Lea was all his life…

Lea always loved to have him around but now he wondered if it was just because he needed to have so many friends. To not be forgotten…

Maybe he wasn’t special at all.

Maybe he was just the dumbest of them all. Maybe he was the only idiot staying around him and helping him in his deliriums.

He approached Yutu that was hopping around and crouched to take her in his arms, bringing her against his Heart. He was just stupid. He loved him since so long… He was everything he wished for… He was the one needing him, clutching to him.

He was stupid…

Isa felt a hand around his wrist and turned the head to Lea. This one slid his hand on his cheek.

“Hey… I won’t leave you again.” He stared him right in the eyes. “I swear to you. You matter, Isa. You matter so much. I searched you for so long… I’m sorry if I failed to you at this time. I left to…”

He bit his lower lip because he realized how much he had been a bad friend for him.

“To protect yourself? Can I really blame you? Of course not.” Isa didn’t look him. “I always understood it. Always.”

“So…?”

“It doesn’t mean it wasn’t hurtful. You leave. I was alone and lost.”

“Isa, I…

“You can’t change that,” Isa replied. “You can’t change the fact you left. For Roxas.”

“I…”

Lea let go on him and paced backward.

“I’ve no excuse. I didn’t realize what was happening. Didn’t realize I was hurting you. I thought…”

“I had no Heart.”

Lea nodded.

“You were the only rampart keeping me sane…” Isa shook his head. “But I understood…” He looked him in the eyes. “I wanted you safe. I accepted it. But it hurt. And saying it to you today hurt again.”

“I don’t think I deserve you,” Lea muttered. “What… what did you have done for me?”

“Things.”

“I thought…” Lea sat in the sofa and hated himself. “I thought I was the one who did the most, killing for you… I was a stupid selfish asshole.”

“Yes. But you were my stupid selfish asshole,” Isa replied, sitting next to him.

“Don’t be nice to me! I’m supposed to be the one taking care of you now!” he said.

“I appreciate,” the other whispered, caressing his rabbit on his lap.

“What can I do for you?”

Isa wanted to reply ‘don’t leave’. He wanted to reply it so badly. He could have asked everything. Touching his skin, tasting his lips, begging for the attention he always craved for…

“Stay happy,” he said.

“Is it really the only thing you wish for?”

Isa nodded.

His smile was the most beautiful thing he never saw, he loved to see his green eyes shine of pleasure. Lea happy was the only thing mattering for him. Whatever that he had his chances romantically with him or not. Whatever he was just a simple friend. If he could just have a tiny place in his life and knew he was happy, he didn’t need more.

“You… You’re not just a friend, Isa…”

Isa’s Heart stopped to beat one second. He hated himself for that.

“I’m your best friend?”

“Yep!”

“I feel so honored,” Isa replied.

“You can be! It’s a very very special place and it’s just for you!”

“Thank you.”

“Thank to you,” Lea said.


	7. Afterwards

Lea was exhausted when he arrived in front of his tiny house. Isa was living really away from his. It wasn’t surprising. His friends had the means to live like that. He certainly had been able to go back in Radiant Garden to find the remnant of his home, to recover some money and be able to just live as he wished for.

Isa was someone smart and far-sighted. He had really no doubt about that.

He was worn out but happy from this night. Yes, there had been tense time but wholly, it was really a good night. He couldn’t wait enough to see him again. But he wanted to go in his room, rest himself… sleep.

He wanted to sleep so much!

Especially because no one said to him it was so exhausting to be a parent.

Alone.

He pushed open the door.

“I’m home!”

“Was it fun?” Roxas asked when he saw Lea.

“Yeah, really fun!”

“So, Isa has changed? I was afraid he was…”

“He didn’t have changed,” Lea replied.

He took out his boots and threw them next to the door before walking to them, taking out his vest and untying his hairs.

“So… You were… He has been mean to you?” Xion asked.

“No! Absolutely not. He was sweet! Like before.”

“Like before?” Roxas said. “You mean this guy has been sweet?”

“Saïx?” Xion repeated.

“Yeeees.”

Lea let out a sigh as he stretched.

“Okay. Because we were worry!” the boy said.

“Worry?” Lea looked the chips bags on the floor, the dirty dishes, and the glasses half-filled. “You look like you have partying hard, yeah!” he teased with a gentle smirk.

“Because we were worry!” Roxas pointed out with a wide grin.

“You’re all cute but don’t worry. He’s my best friend. He won’t hurt me!”

Xion frowned.

“Best friend?” Roxas repeated. “I thought you had no best friend…”

Lea bent and ruffled his hairs. As if he wanted the boy to have hair as flat as his. It was quite weird to see him with his mane flowing that way.

“Now, I’ve one. And don’t make that face!”

“Why not? We thought we were the best candidates?” Xion said, tilting her head.

“Ah! I love you very very much! But I thought I was…” He scratched his nape, making dance his red locks. “… your parent?”

“Our parent?” Xion repeated.

“Yeah… A big bro’ if you prefer!!” he said, moving his hands quickly from a side to the other side.

Xion looked him with her blue eyes slightly wet.

Seeing it, Lea fell on his knees and took her in his arms.

“Hey, hey, hey, calm, calm Xion. Everything is okay!” he said.

“I’m okay!” she said with a tiny giggle. “I’m happy! You’ll be such a good dad!”

Lea felt the relieve and caressed her hair with a smile, hugging her with the other arm.

“I thought I was already one!”

“You are!”

She laughed even more, tears rolling from her eyes. He kissed her cheeks and rocked her slowly.

Roxas moved his arms.

“Yes!” the former assassins said, seeing him doing it.

He was used to see everything from every angle. In his job, and in his previous one, it was really useful.

So he opened his arm and accepted Roxas in this big hug.

Everything Lea wished right now was to go to sleep. The living room was empty and he could totally do it, especially because he started to work in eight hours… but everything was still messy.

When he was looking his living room with the glass everywhere, the dishes, the bottles almost empty, he could only remember himself Isa’s house. Everything was perfect there. He had a bunny moving freely and yet, everything was perfect.

He wasn’t surprised, of course.

Isa had always been really ordered and meticulous. It wasn’t such a surprise that Xemnas had put all his confidence in him and asked him to become his Second-in-Commands. And he saw him doing so many things with all the reports, holding everything, dealing with so much.

He would never be able to do that much and he really was agape each time he had the chance to see his friend deal with his work and his mischief-making. Isa always had found time for him beside everything…

Lea sighed. He wanted to be like him.

Well maybe not _totally _like him because, even if he loved him really really much, he was too uptight for him. Really too much. He still wanted to have fun!

On the other hand… he remembered that Isa was funnier when they were child. He gathered bottles, glasses and dishes thinking about that. Remembering the game they had together. Yes, child, it wasn’t the funniest anyway because Isa couldn’t leave his home and the rare time they did, they have to sneak out but they would always found way to play. Even in the way he was teaching him, it was with play.

Why did he had changed that much?

Lea brought back everything in the kitchen and poured hot water in the sink because he could still hear Isa’s voice from earlier. Keeping a household sane and clean was the key. He remembered his stupid joke ‘I’m a Keyblade wielder, I’ve always the Key!”. His friend had looked him with judgement in his eyes though his lips were slightly twitched upward.

He truly wanted to see Isa laugh and smile again.

He should have been happy to see him having more emotions today than back at the time they were Nobodies but he didn’t want to see him suffer…

And he never had realized how much he had hurt him by leaving that way…

He had always only thought about him. Isa, Saïx, had always known that and had never said anything against that. Maybe because from the beginning, the only person that he included in his owns plans was him.

Until he met Roxas and Xion, yes.

That was the reason he knew he was jealous. The reason he knew Saïx had become so bittersweet in the head of his presence in the Organization. He was afraid because Roxas and Xion were taking the only thing he had. But…

Lea put a new dish on the side, letting drip it.

But what had hurt him the most was the way Saïx was reacting, as if he tried to destroy his news friends. He felt like his dearest, longest, friend was toxic. Wanting to keep him for him and only him.

Maybe that was the reason he left without caring for him?

Maybe he was just selfish.

He knew Saïx was always different with him. Softer, more comprehensive… and he was doing a lot for him. He kept giving mission with Roxas to him, even with Xion sometimes.

Saïx had done so much for him.

And him he just had…

Lea frowning as he was putting upside down a clean glass, the foam slowly sliding along it.

What had happened for Saïx to be so bad because he had left him?

Perhaps… because he was his only friend? He always wanted to stay in everybody memories to matter, to exist, to become immortal… But on the other hand, for so long years, it mattered more when it was Isa, or Saïx, who remembered him. After all, he had forgotten Ventus! And he liked him very much!

How many friends he had forgotten?

And Isa never forgotten him.

He was happy he was his best friend! That his first best friend was him!

He wanted to see him again. To hang out more…

In fact, though he felt like Roxas was bringing him to the bright side, was making him feel like he had a Heart, maybe because he was something new in his life, he missed Saïx back this time. And now Isa. Very much.

In fact, he…

“AXEL!”

He heard sound in the staircase and turned his head, surprised.

He couldn’t help but smile when he saw Roxas and Xion, both in their cute pajama he bought them. He bought a lot of them, at the same time and they were assorted… and both got cute animals like sheep, bunny, bears or frogs. They kept wearing those who matched each other. Lea still didn’t know if it was by envy or to gently mock him.

“AXEL!”

“Yeah, yeah! What?” he smiled.

“We’re ready! Do you goodnight kiss us?” Xion asked.

She knew it was selfish but she really liked it. Maybe because she has been treating like a puppet for the major part of her life? Receiving a kiss, full of love, was important for her. as much as hug or laughing with people she loved.

That gave her the feeling to… be loved.

To exist as a real being.

And Roxas… he kept saying that it was to help Xion feel more normal and act like he didn’t like those kisses but he certainly wished for them…

Lea whipped his hands in the towel next to the oven and bent to them to kiss Roxas’ cheek and Xion’s forehead with a smile.

“Go to sleep! And don’t try to cheat on me!”

“Don’t worry,” Roxas replied.

“We have to get up early tomorrow so we can work a bit on the seashells!” Xion replied with serious. “Oh, it would be nice if we could go on the beach,” she added to her friend.

“Yeah! We should go tomorrow.”

Lea cleared his throat and both teenagers looked toward him. Since none of them reacted, he cleared again his throat, making frown the boy.

“What?” he wondered.

“Didn’t you have to ask _someone_ for that?”

“Who?”

“Oh!” Xion said. “You’d be okay if we go to the beach afterschool?”

“Oh…” Roxas breathed out.

“Of course, you can,” Lea smiled. “But come back before six pm, okay?”

“Yeah!” Roxas replied.

“We come to see you at work, in any case!” Xion smiled.

“We don’t have keys, after all,” the boy teased.

“Like... You need the keys of our home?” Lea smirked. “You have big keys!”

His friends-children laughed to this. Letting go, in a perfect harmony a singing ‘you’re right!!!’.

Lea was really eased to see them as happy. He didn’t want less for them. His Heart was light and full of Light. After years of walking in the Dark, of doubting, of being really selfish in order to find a bit of vain happiness, he found it…

When the door closed just behind Lea’s back, Isa felt his legs so weak suddenly… In fact, after that tense moments, they had sat back in the kitchen to eat and then had moved to the living room where they had sat again and talked about soft subject so it had been pretty easy to keep the appearance up and fake an easiness when, in fact, he was just dying inside. Yes, he wanted to see Lea happy and smiling; yes, he loved to be with him; yes, he wished to have more moment like that… But he was also sad. Sad because the feelings growing in his Heart will never have a reply. Sad because now that he saw Lea again, fears were swallowing him. He was afraid that his Darkness will again swallow him. Afraid that he will be betrayed again…

Afraid of not be able to protect him.

Afraid of seeing him leave again…

He didn’t know by what miracle he managed to arrive in his living room but his legs stopped working before he could join his sofa. He slid against the wall until he was kneeling in the floor, taking his face in his hands, feeling the ugly lines of the scars against his fingertips.

He struggled to keep his life in one piece yet but now… everything was shattering. Everything was _burning._

Something soft bumped his elbow across the thin lace of his sleeve. He moved his hands, his breath short, to see Yutu. The bunny hopped in his lap and rose in her back paw, moving her tiny nose. He slid one of his hands in her soft fur, rubbing her head. She pressed her paws against his chest and he bent to press his head against her. She rubbed her face against his cheek, seeming to lay a thousand of kiss to cheer his aching Heart.


	8. Chapter 07

The night hadn’t been restful.

If he had slept one hour, it was a lot. He did his best to sleep though, but he just couldn’t. Each time, Lea, or Axel, was arriving in his mind and it was just so powerful. Images coming again and again, becoming a very special video just with his favorite moment of their life. He had loved seeing him and wanted to see him again…

Lea was so important for him.

And he didn’t think he was worthy enough…

He forced himself out of the bed and went to the bathroom to prepare himself. He just needed to wash himself a bit, put on some clothes, a jeans and a t-shirt was enough for that, and tie his hair so they won’t annoy him. He never tied them back at the Organization because when his hair grew that long, he hadn’t any physical work to do. Not often as least. So he could let his hair down. After all, he didn’t like to take care of himself. Just what he needed to be decent, polite toward the others… After that, being pretty…

Well, it arrived sometimes.

But more time passed, more people he met, less he wanted to be pretty except for people deserving it. Like Lea. And yet… yet, he couldn’t have been the prettiest for him.

He chased these thoughts and watched himself in the mirror as he was tying his hairs. He couldn’t not miss his ears a bit different, the main reason why he was always letting the long locks pass in front of… But he could do nothing against the golden sparkle or the long scar in his forehead. He had tried. The gold sparkles seemed to pass through the lenses and no cream could hide the ugliness of this scar…

It was like his past was trapping him.

He couldn’t escape…

Isa moved away and went in his kitchen to prepare a coffee pot with an old percolator he found in an old shop. He always did that: preparing a coffee pot the morning and drinking on it few time the day. Maybe that was the reason he didn’t sleep well? Or maybe it wasn’t… he just couldn’t.

He also took a bar with cereal, oat and red berries in the cupboard then a piece of watermelon. He bit in the bar and walked to the living room. In a corner, there was a cage. Just a cage where Yutu was moving to see Isa, moving her nose. But it wasn’t a regular cage. It was a palace with three stories, lot of toys, and it almost taken a whole side of the wall. She had two nests just for her and a bowl with croquette when she wanted it. Everything was so clean…

Isa opened an entry and Yutu bounced to him.

“Huuush, I must go to work therewith. Here is your meal.”

Yutu rubbed her nose against his hand. He gave her the watermelon and caressed softly his head when she took the juicy fruit. With it, she went in her nest. Though, she watched him.

He went back to the kitchen, washed his hands and bit again in his breakfast before pouring himself a cup of coffee. He opened his freezer just to look the wood container where he had put the rest of the meal from yesterday. He should have let it to Lea…

He wanted to know him happy and healthy.

He really had to do something…

He sipped his coffee as the idea swirled in his mind. He knew what the best option was in this case…

When Isa pushed open the door of the library, he quickly came to the reception where two of his colleagues were already.

“You can start to put back the books on place,” the lady said, raising her thumb.

Isa loved to know his work was waiting for him as soon as he arrived. He was efficient for that. As if he had to classify everything for a really long time…

“Yes, immediately. Can you look for me how many books with recipe or nutrition we still have left?”

“Yes,” she said.

As she started to look, he moved to the stack of book on the side, those that waited to come back at their place.

“The Guard from yesterday took the best one, Isa,” his other colleague replied. “Hey… He seemed to like you, maybe you can grab the book!” he added with a laugh.

“The cute redhead? He’s so beautif…”

“There is no other Guard in Twilight Town,” Isa cut short. “I don’t search the best book. I’d like to have a book with interesting and healthy meal to do.”

“You search to cook?” the man said.

“I’m surprise,” the lady replied. “I imagined you…”

She stopped herself there and frowned. In fact, she couldn’t imagine anything… Isa didn’t talk a lot about him. He was just working. Doing way too much than them. In fact, yesterday, the man had been surprising to see him talk so long with the Guard, a guy pretty knew in the city. He was kind, always helping, full of energy and exuberant. You wouldn’t imagine this guy, already well known in the whole World after not even one month with someone like Isa who was… well had a poker up in his arse.

“You do have some books left?” Isa asked.

“There is still two left. You know where and you can chose the one you prefer.”

“Or both,” the man added.

“Yes!”

“Thank you very much,” Isa said, taking the stack of books.

“Bring the one, with or without s, you want and will keep it for you,” she offered.

“Thank you very much,” he replied again.

He moved toward the number of shelves to work. Keeping his mind ongoing. Working. Working…

When you worked, again and again, being really mechanical, time flew without you even notice it. Especially when you were used not to eat much, barely drink, yes it flew even faster…

And yes, it wasn’t really smart.

But he felt better when he was working, his mind following the train of the easy work, totally turned empty as if someone as used a vacuum one him…

He pushed a book about a Lady that fell in love with a Heartless on place, in the biography section, when he felt a hand on his. Shivers ran along his spine and he quickly moved back, grabbing the wrist as the shelves was shaking, few books falling as a hand pushed the furniture filled by books on place.

“Isa! Woa! Calm!”

Isa’s breathing was heavy and fast and he realized only now that this hand was soft, pleasant, and the voice too…

Green eyes were looking him with worry.

Lea?

Lea…

“Aren’t you on duty?”

“It’s break time. You know! You wanna break time with me?”

“Break time…” Isa said, as if it was unknown words.

“Yup. And… you can let go on my hand? You’ve a firm grip!” he laughed.

Isa looked the wrist still imprisoned by his fingers and noticed the pinkish skin turning red under the pressure…

He let go on his wrist, slowly but didn’t utter the ‘sorry’ he wanted to say… If he said it, he would have to explain himself.

“What’s happening, Isa?”

Damn!

“Sorry… You just surprised me.”

“Woah… I was lucky all those years,” he laughed, rubbing his red skin.

“Perhaps,” Isa replied.

“So, you come hang out with me?”

“Is it really intelligent to let the Guard of Twilight Town having break?” Isa wondered, turning to the books to arrange them.

Lea let out a chuckle, a bit nervous. “You want me to work twenty-four seven?”

“It would be more cautious.”

“But I would die!”

“Hm… This would be annoying.”

The man moved on the side to put others books on the right place.

“Thank you! So… you come?”

“I’m working, Lea.”

“You can take a break too, you know? For the same reason as I. It would be really annoying if you’d die! I want you to be healthy and to eat! Come. Please, please, please.”

“Pleaaaaaaaaase, move your lovely ass and go with him!”

“Iris!” Isa roared.

Lea turned his head to Isa’s colleague, the lady with short black hair. She was smiling widely.

“Please, bring him outside,” she said. “He needs to rest! Marcus and I kept saying it to him and yet…”

“Please! Will you come with me? I can’t see you enough,” Lea asked to Isa, a big smile on his lips.

“Very well,” he replied. “But next time, don’t forget it’s useless to lie,”

“Lie?” Lea repeated, confuse as he was looking him walk to the entry.

He really couldn’t see him enough…

He thanked the lady and ran toward the front door. At the moment he wanted to grab Isa’s hand, he stopped himself. He didn’t want to frighten him as he did just before…

He was still confused about that. Isa had always been so strong, fearing nothing and handling everything… and now, it was different. Was it because he had a Heart now?

He wanted to ask him a lot of things but certainly wouldn’t. He didn’t want to hurt him and dig somewhere he shouldn’t. Yes, he would have done it before… but he realized how much he was selfish and he couldn’t hurt his friend. Not just because he was curious…

His worries could be a good excuse but, in fact, he preferred to just walk on his side…

“Where do you want to eat? Whatever you want, I pay!”

“Do you do that every day?” Isa wondered.

“Often,” Lea replied. He glanced at his friend who looked him back. “Don’t judge me, Isa!”

“I don’t judge you,” he replied. “I just think you would have less difficulties if you prepared sandwich for your day?”

“Maybe… It’s what you’re doing?”

“Hm…”

“You don’t eat?”

“I prefer to keep my mind busy, to be honest.”

“I see.” Lea looked him with doubt. “Nothing too worrisome?”

Isa pushed a thin lock of hair behind his hair. Even if his work wasn’t the most physical, he moved a lot and his hairs tried to be free.

“I just like to not think,” he replied.

“Surprising! I’m the one not thinking!” Lea said, sticking out his tongue.

“You’re not dumb, if it’s what you’re trying to say.”

“Just a bit.”

Lea smiled and then approached him. He wanted to brush his skin but restrained himself. It was weird for him because, when they were younger, he used to jump on him by surprise just to annoy him. And when they were at the Organization, he sometimes needed to have a comforting feeling so he just sought contact from someone very dear to his Heart.

To his memories of his Heart.

“I can keep your mind busy while the break time. We eat, we hang out…”

“Why do you want to hang out with me?” Isa wondered, stopping on his track.

“But why I wouldn’t?” Lea asked, halting next to him. “You’re my friend. My _best _friend.”

“Don’t wave it at me as if it always been really important to you. You’re calling me like that only since yesterday.”

“Maybe I was dumb enough to not know it but that doesn’t mean you weren’t that important already!” Lea replied, a hand on his hip. “And I care for you. I missed you…”

Isa looked down. He shouldn’t tell that to him. He wanted to clutch to those words… Wanted to believe so strong on them. Hoping more.

“I missed you too,” he whispered. “A lot.” He stared him with a piercing eye. “However… I don’t want you to lose your money, especially because you have to care about the pup… Roxas and Xion. Am I wrong?”

He started to move again.

“No. Especially with everything I waster yesterday.” He walked after him. “Honestly, it pissed me off a bit. I didn’t let them eat that buuut…”

“Back an old time, you would have eaten it with happiness…”

“Yeah. I’d feel bad to force them to do that but… It seems like waste?”

“I understand,” he replied.

“It was really horrible.”

“Everybody made mistakes and you wanted to bring the best for those mattering for you. I can understand you took this choice. Try to continue with easy meal as long as you can and I’ll help you to cook better. If you need, I can also bring you some food.”

“But… why? You don’t even like Roxas and Xion…” Lea said. “Do you like them now? Was it because Xemnas twisted your mind? Sometimes, I couldn’t recognize you…”

“I like _you_,” Isa replied. “Where do we go, please?”

Lea blinked.

“Th… There is a nice restaurant by the sea. They serve a lot of fishes and seafood. What do you think about that?”

“If it’s not taking too long, yes. I’d like to go back to work soon.”

“Take a rest, Isa! You’ve to take out that stick from your ass! Come!” He approached his hand from his and stopped there. “Can I?”

The former Second-in-Command noticed his fingers next to his and he slowly nodded. When their hands intertwined, he felt a bolt through his body.

“I’m paid for that work and you shouldn’t forget that the security of the World is on your shoulders.”

“Yes, but I’m doing nothing, you know? There isn’t real problem since Xehanort is dead, and with him every other Xehanorts…”

Isa closed his eyes few seconds. Just as he did when his friend had talked about Xemnas earlier. He just let him lead him toward the beach as the sky still threw away a bit of orange and red colors. A kind of endless sunset…

“Try just to not be fired, Lea. And let me pay, please.”

“No, no, no! I pay! I pay, please? I’ve money and I owe it to you. You gave so much to me already.”

“Very well. However, please, don’t do that too often.”

“I think I still have a lot to learn. I’ll need more books!” he laughed.

“You know where you can take them.”

“Yeah!” Lea moved toward him. “Can I kiss your cheek?”

Isa turned his head toward him, able to hide how his said cheeks tried to turn red.

“Why?”

“Because I’d like to?”

“That’s a good reason,” Isa replied. “You can, if you want to.”

Lea bent and pressed his lips against his cheek with a smile. Isa squeezed his hand without even realizing it, loving this attention more than he would confess…


	9. Chapter 8

“It’s there! What do you think about it?”

“It’s…”

Lea had talked about a tiny restaurant and it was a really tiny restaurant. Most of it was on a terrace in the beach. The waves were away but the scent was around, flooding. You could hear a lot of laugh and discussions. The people were wearing short clothes and it seemed that the food in their plates was pretty cheap…

It was a place for the average. The ‘normality’. No need to be fancy or to be uptight here…

The only comfort Isa got from there was the price that must be low. Lea wouldn’t give too much for those meals…

“Let’s go there,” he said. “This look a good place to eat.”

“Perfect!” Lea replied.

They walked along the tiny road to go to the restaurant.

Isa looked around and was a bit eased because it wasn’t so far away from his work. Though it wasn’t that near too… He was really worried that he took too many time over his schedule. His colleagues thought he was doing too much… He was just doing what he had to do. As in the Organization, the work never stopped. You always had to pass behind the others… not his colleagues but the readers, yes. So much took books, then realized they didn’t want it and put them back in the wrong place. So many red in a special place with a huge table surrounded by chairs and then forget their books there, or get too lazy to put them on place…

He always had to keep his mind busy.

It was fine…

“What about here?”

He showed a table for two on the edge of the terrace, just under a long canopy.

“You just… sit?”

“Yeah. You just sit.”

Isa seemed confused but sit in front of Lea. From there, you could easily look the sea and it was beautiful, the foam sliding softly in the sand.

“So… about the food… You want to come tonight at home? Maybe we can have the hang out I swore to you if you save my poor ass,” he laughed.

“Yesterday, it was a soft time,” Isa replied.

“I don’t want to force you to stay around Xion and Roxas if you still hate them.”

“I don’t hate them,” he protested. “I’ve no opinion on them as long as they don’t hurt you.”

“They’re my friends, they won’t hurt me!” Lea breathed out, surprised.

“They’re…” Isa let out a sigh. “Forget about it.”

“You still think…”

The waiter stopped at some pace, feeling the tense but Isa saw it.

“You’re sure we could have sat here?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

In fact, Lea saw that like an opportunity. He was afraid that getting in this path. He didn’t want to lose, once again, Isa because they have disaccord. Especially on Roxas and Xion… So, he moved his hand to the waiter, asking him to come.

He did it immediately and smiled.

“Here are the menus. Please, take your time.”

He gave the thin and long books and stepped aside to see if the others had what they needed.

Isa looked the price and the names, and he couldn’t help but frown.

“Don’t tell me you think I’ll ruin myself.”

“It’s not that,” the former Second-in-Command replied. “But, yes, please, don’t use too much your money. It’s not worth it.”

“You mean you’re not worth it?” Lea replied.

He bent across the table and his fingers brushed the long blue lock, pushing it softly behind his ear, brushing his cheek. It was warm. So warm…

“You’re worthy. You’re so worthy.”

“Don’t do that, please…”

“What?”

Isa grabbed his hand, pushing it toward his cheek.

“My ears are lumpen.”

“Your ears are absolutely pretty. As you.”

He rubbed his thumb against his cheek. There, he realized that Isa didn’t have badly reacted to this contact. Maybe because he saw it coming?

He hoped, at least, that it was the reason. He hoped not having frightened him and that Isa just hid it…

Isa moved his hand to press it softly along his cheek. He really wished those gestures, those words were more than friendship. But he knew he just hoped. Needed that too. But he’d just accept this feeling, this kind of love Lea was willing to offer him. While hating him a bit because having someone so touch-liking while he craved for another love…

“And about your work… Do you want to talk about it?”

“Ah!”

Lea moved his hand as the waiter arrived, seeming to be a bit annoyed. You could sense it as his smile…

“Do you have chosen?”

Isa nodded. Lea gestured to him then, letting him order a glass of water and a _sole meunière_ while his friend ordered a soda pretty sugary and pasta with seafood.

Isa watched as the man left to the restaurant itself. It was so strange to him… Though he didn’t went in the restaurant often when he was young but through the books, the etiquette and the discussion, he was used to something else.

“So about my job…”

Lea bent toward him.

Why was he doing that? Isa’s Heart was hammering behind his rib and that was painful. Not even delightfully painful because he could just watch him. But, on the other hand, seeing his soft smile… It was worth it.

“I’m not really doing anything. There are no Heartless… I’m just… a symbol?”

“A symbol? Are they paying you, at least?”

“Yes, Yes, they’re paying me,” Lea said, bringing his chair closer from his friend’s. “Look to me like I’m stealing them.”

Isa glared at him, smirking.

“Because it’s a problem for you?”

“Oh shut up!” Lea said.

Isa couldn’t stop smiling slightly. Really not much for him.

“You got what I meant! It’s okay to do bad stuff to survive… Well no! No, it’s not okay neither! But I had no others choices and… And I want to wash this, to be someone good.”

“You’re a good person. You wanted to survive… then, everything bad things you did, you only did it for me…”

“You never forced me. And you did so many things for me too. I know it wasn’t normal to be so lazy and not be scolded for that!” he giggled.

“You could have tried to do more.”

“But I looooove doing nothing!”

“So you love your new job?”

“Hm… Yes and no. Because I have to wake and then I wander in the town. Sometimes, I help strangers… I mean, this Town is so beautiful and tourists love it. I never realized how big was this World before I had to help so often people coming from outside the Main Town…”

“At least, it kept you busy,” Isa said.

“Yes. Sometimes, I feel like a superstar because they want photo with me. But… I think I’m really just a kind of attraction. The stupidest Guard of Twilight Town! Look at that!” he laughed.

He showed his outfit, the leather pant, the high boots, the belt, the top with a deep cleavage and yet tied at the neck. And let’s not forget the black mittens, the piece of hard leather protecting his body and the red hoodie that could confound himself with his mane. He was class and beautiful, without a doubt, but yes, he was more looking like a pretty attraction.

“Are you well paid?”

“Yes.”

“Then why won’t you try to help even more? You could keep the Town clean.”

“You think?”

“Why not?” He looked up to the waiter. “Thank you,” he said to him.

The man just laid down the drinks and moved away.

“Being useful could be interesting.”

“People would love you more and _maybe_ they will pay you more. Make you feel like your job is worthy?” Isa said before sipping his glass.

“Yeah, maybe. You’re really…”

Lea stopped talking and watched him. Stared him.

“Something is wrong?” Isa wondered, seeing him like that.

“I just… You’re so nice to me. I have been asshole, I have left ya and you’ve been… so bad… And yet, you keep helping me? You offered to come home? With those you don’t even appreciate? I honestly wonder… why I deserve you as friend, Isa.”

Isa almost shocked with his saliva, hearing that. He took two longs sips and passed his fingers in one of the long lock.

“Excuse me?” he then said. “You’re really talking about me? You did a lot for me, too.”

“Except killing people, I don’t see,” Lea replied, taking his glass.

“Moral support. You did more than you think.”

“And you replaced me by a bunny?” the man laughed.

He took a long sip of the sugary drink.

“Not really. But she’s adorable.”

“She is! Why did you take her? You felt lonely?”

“Yes.”

“And since when do you work at the Library? Is at been easy to get a job?”

“As soon as I settle down in my new home, I asked to work at the Library. They didn’t need anyone but I insisted…”

“I know you, I know how you can bring argument,” Lea laughed.

“Yes, I proved everything I was able to do and when I had showed my skills… they accepted me. It was two weeks ago? Maybe few days more?”

“I see. And you’re happy in this life?”

“I believe.”

“You have everything you wish for then?” Lea asked, excited.

“Not really but I feel better now. My life is simpler. I’m working, the work is pleasant and I’ve Yutu. And you’re doing well… It’s not perfect but it’s acceptable. Especially when my last life was…”

He frowned.

He didn’t want to talk about that so he drowned the words in his glass.

“It’ll go better,” Lea said with confidence.

The other man nodded.

“Thank you for sharing time with me.”

“Thank you for sharing time with me,” Lea replied. “I hope it’ll be like before.”

“Like before?”

Isa tilted slightly his head on the side.

“Before wh… Thank you,” he said to the waiter that laid down the plates.

When the man left, after having asked them if they needed something else, Isa could only look his dish. The fish was served with potatoes topped with chive and parsley but they were totally bathed by the sauce.

“You’re really not used to that. You’re cute,” Lea laughed a bit.

“Don’t mock me, please.”

“It’s not mocking if you’re cute!” his friend teased.

The former Second-in-Command glared at him so Lea let out a tiny laugh.

“Okay! No mocking! Just enjoying time with ya!”

“Perfect and so, yes, I’ll come tonight. I’d come as soon I’ve done with my schedule, if you agree. I can help you and maybe we can cook something that will slowly warm in the oven and…”

“And you will run away before Xion and Roxas came back from the beach?”

“They’re going to the beach?” Isa asked, ignoring the doubts.

Or maybe the words that were so right.

The words that could endanger his relationship with Lea. Not again. Not because of the two puppets…

“Yes. Remember yesterday when I came? It was because they have a presentation and they decided to work on the seashells. They really love them.”

“I remember that,” he said.

He could see again the bed filled by sand because they kept stacking them. He could remember the collection of the same kind of seashells everywhere. But he wouldn’t have said a thing because they weren’t the only one to stack things. He would do it with report, Luxord with cards and Marluxia with flowers… so they could do it with seashells…

“They asked me to go to the beach. Roxas really love the beach, too. In fact…” Lea made roll the pasta around his fork and took a mouthful. “I wished I could have a home by the sea but they’re so expansive.”

Isa nodded. He didn’t leave exactly by the sea but he was pretty soon from it and his tiny house was already pretty expansive…

“I’m glad you’re not ruining yourself,” Isa said.

He too was eating, though he was dubitative toward this food. Lea smiled as he stabbed a mussel.

“You’re really, really cute!”

“If you keep saying stupidity, I may not want to pass time with you.”

“That’s non-sense! You’re supporting me since way too longtime to still hope I won’t do stupidities all the time!”

“You’re not wrong,” Isa replied. “I must say that’s something I enjoy from you.”

He enjoyed everything from him, in fact.

And he didn’t want this moment to stop…

Ever.


	10. Before the dinner

The huge plate tinged against the grid.

“So here you are. You just have to wait for the meal to be cooked.”

“That looks delicious yet! Thank you very much. You’re the best and I don’t think I deserve you!”

Isa looked Lea with a little smirk. His arms were folded, his hands sliding under his armpits in a defensive stance. His friend was used to see him like that, to see him curled up on himself in so many occasions.

He wanted to hug him tightly and didn’t know if he had to…

“I’ll leave you alone, in this case. I’ll give you my number so you can call me in case of any problem,” Saïx said, untying his hair.

His blue tresses cascaded in a wide movement.

“You…” Lea gulped. “Okay. You don’t need anything?”

“It’ll be okay. Thank you for your concern,” Isa said, walking to the main door.

His friend followed him and watched as he grabbed his warm coat. He wanted to ask him to stay, he really felt better with him around but couldn’t force him. He stared him as the sleeves passed on the man’s arms, the clothe fitting on his back.

The door opened.

On the other side, there was Roxas and Xion, laughing. She has her schoolbag on her shoulder and you could see craft she tied there and Roxas’ was almost hitting the floor. But they weren’t alone.

“What the fu…hell?” Lea let out.

“Ah! Lea, you remember Hayner, Pence and Olette, right?”

“Yes, I do.”

Isa crossed his arms again and Xion glanced at him in silence.

“We meet them at the beach and we thought it’ll be nice they came to study with us. And it’ll be funnier if we can all work our presentation together?”

“It doesn’t annoy you, Axel?” Xion asked, tightening her hands around the paper bag she has in hand.

From the smell, you could tell it was seashells on it.

“Ugh…” Lea rubbed his nape. “No, no. The more, the merrier! Nice to see you all! Come inside!”

Lea smiled and let the two teenagers enter. Just after, their friends did the same.

“Saïx will stay?” Roxas wondered.

Isa glared at him, the gold sparkle glooming in his eyes.

“Will you?” Lea tried again.

“It’ll be a little bit too much people here.”

“Just seven! It suits you well!” Lea laughed.

At these words, he felt he had casted a chill… Joking about Organization wasn’t probably the best thing but he used to just love laughing to forget the past. If everything was joy, if everything was send in oblivion…

But it was him.

Just him.

“I hoped you’ll have enough left over for you and the… teenagers to have enough to eat the following days. I suppose I was wrong so… I can stay if it’s what you wish for.”

Roxas frowned and Lea smiled slightly as he saw his friend directly looked at him…

“You mean you stay?”

Isa pushed out his coat.

“It seems I stay, yes,” he replied.

“Nice!”

“And so… What should we do?” Roxas wondered as Xion took their friends’ oat to hang them.

“So? Where do you want to prepare your presentation? Your room? The living room? What will suit you the best?”

“It would be better to go in your room, right?” Olette said. “So you can use your own house?” she laughed.

“It’s nice from you,” Lea said. “Do that? I’ll call you when it’ll be food time!”

“Perfect!” Pence smiled.

He went with Hayne, Olette and Roxas toward the stairs so they could reach one of the room. They had a lot of work but, in the rooms, they could also laugh and not work as much as they have to, away from adults.

Xion, however, stayed in the room. Her hands were around her paper bag…

“Something’s wrong?” Lea asked.

“Wrong, no? But… But I wanted to…”

She glanced at Isa who stared her back before moving to the kitchen. Lea felt the tension in the air and he regretted a bit to have insisted for his friend to stay. He wanted to stay a lot with him but it wasn’t good for the teenagers.

He would have to find a way…

He couldn’t force each other to have to attend them.

“I wanted to offer this to you.”

Xion took out a seashell from her back. It was very red and pretty big.

“Aaaaaw, that’s so cute!” Lea smiled.

“You really think that?” Xion wondered.

“Of course! I love it! Why would you doubt?”

“Because… it’s just a seashell?”

“Yep, but you offered it to me so it’s special and I love it!”

Xion looked him with her eyes wet but a big smile and she jumped in his arms to hug him.

“Thank you, Axel!”

He hugged her back, caressing her hairs.

“And take care,” she muttered, a bit of doubt in her voice, before moving away and ran to the stairs.

Lea frowned and turned his head toward the kitchen. He walked to the kitchen and saw Isa tying his hair as hot water was pouring in the sink.

“Woah, you take it easy!” he laughed.

“I figured out I could, in memory of the past.”

Lea giggled more.

“You got everything memorized, don’t ya?” he said, pressing his finger against his temple.

“Of course. With you, there is no room to forget,” Isa replied with a shadow of smile.

Lea walked to him and watched him turn off the tap and then plunge his hands in the water topped by foam.

“You don’t have to do that, you’re an invited.”

“It’s fine. And if I don’t do it, I highly doubt you would do it yourself.”

“I would!”

“But not immediately. It’s better to do it immediately.”

“I’m still impressed to see how you deal with everything. You were…”

“I know, I know. That’s not because I was rich I couldn’t do anything alone. They weren’t dressing me, for example.”

“But… Was it hard at first?”

Isa handed him a ladle they used for preparing the food. “Not at all. I’m still not able to do fancy meal. However, I’m learning.”

Lea grabbed a dishtowel and then the ladle.

“That’s nice! We can do it!”

Isa nodded slightly. “You’re doing very well however…”

“Hm?” Lea wondered, putting the ladle in place.

“It occurs often they go beyond your authority?”

“They… go beyond my authority?”

“They brought back friends at home without asking you.”

“Dude… I don’t think you can talk about that. You always went beyond your parents authority to let me sneak out in your house.”

“It’s true. But I don’t think you’re as harsh as my parents were.”

Isa’s cold tone made Lea shivering. What was a bit of humor in his case turned very differently. Yes… Isa was always in his house. The only thing he could do was going in the garden… And, in fact, only when servants were around. Or he could go in the fancy Bal or Parties casted for people really wealthy. Letting sneak out a friend, his only friend, was the only sparkle of light in his life.

Lea got it.

“I’m not. Yes, they could have asked, but that doesn’t bother me.”

“Just be careful, Lea. They could use it against you,” he said, handing him the pot where they had cook potatoes.

“I don’t think they will.”

“Lea… You know they will.”

“That again, Isa? They’re not…”

“Remember that you never asked as much favors before you befriended them. Suddenly, you asked me a lot of favors. Very much. Even if you knew it wasn’t the best to do for me.”

“You were in Xemnas’ good books so…”

“But for _you_, you would never. For you knew.”

“Maybe I wanted those things?” Lea replied, rubbing the dishtowel in the bottom of the pot.

“You wanted those things? You asked me to let Xion and Roxas together all the time.”

“Yes, I wanted it! They’re my friends. I wanted them happy!”

“Of course, you wanted it. They knew it. However, this day where you almost died because you wanted to give what Roxas wanted I…”

A deafening sound reverberated in the room as a glass shattered in piece.

“ISA!”

Lea put down the pot and grabbed his friend’s hand. He saw the blood slide along his palm and let out a cuss.

“It’s nothing.”

“Shut up, will ya?! It’s not nothing! Let me check.”

He tugged on his hand and observed it, looking for any piece of glass remaining in it. He let out another cuss when he saw two glooming piece.

“It’ll hurt a little,” he warned.

Then he slid them out, one then the other. When the blood started to steam, he brought the hand under the tap he turned on.

“It’s okay?” he asked.

Isa didn’t have flinched one second.

“Yes.”

“It’ll hurt a bit more,” Lea warned.

His finger passed along the wound. And it hurt. A lot. As his fingertip passed, the wound turned into an ugly scar, sealed by fire…

“Why didn’t you tell me? About that time…”

“Why should I have told it to you?” Isa replied.

“Right…” Lea sighed.

They weren’t exactly friend anymore at this time. Saïx barely supported his presence and they get angry at each other whenever they tried to talk.

“That would have hurt you…”

Lea looked up at him.

He saw Isa clenched his teeth and looked down quickly.

“Fuck, sorry!”

He brought his hand to him and kissed the place he had unnecessary burnt the skin.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing.”

“About what?” Lea asked. “How many times did you hide things to me to protect me?”

Isa stared him back.

“Isa…” he breathed out in horror. “How many times?”

“I never counted. It wasn’t useful.”

“Why?”

“I always wanted to make you happy, keep you safe.

“Wh… Why I never saw it?” Lea asked.

He felt his legs so weak and was about to just search a place where he could sit…

“You’re selfish. You always have been. You always think about you and your own happiness. Your interests count more than anything else. You felt useful when you could help Xion and Roxas. You felt you could matter, stay eterne in someone mind.”

Lea looked down, feeling the weight of those words like a million stabs.

He wanted to beg him to stop but he didn’t.

“Why did you keep doing it, then? I spat on our friendship, I treated you as an enemy…”

“You did,” Isa said. He squeezed his hand despite the pain. “I wasn’t better than you. Wasn’t better than them… I would have done anything for you to be happy. Would have done anything to prevent you from walking out of my life.”

“And I left…”


	11. Split

Scritches and scratches reverberated in the room though it came out from the other side of the door. Even though the hot spray was hitting him, covering the sound around, he still was able to hear those sounds…

He let out a sigh under the warm rain and pushed down his head, letting the droplets beat his face. He opened his eyes and, for few seconds, he blinked, his lashes throwing away the droplets while the stream pursued their courses along his scars sparkling over his body.

More scritches and scratches.

A new sigh came out…

It wasn’t as if someone could really hear him and think he was lacking of manner.

_Scritch. Scratch. Scritch. Scr…_

“Yes, I’m coming!”

He turned off the water and walked out the shower. As he did, he grabbed a towel and quickly ruffled his hairs to roll them in said towel. He passed another one around his hips and walked to the door, opening it to the rabbit that hopped to his ankles. He crouched and whipped his hand to caress her.

“I know I let you alone a lot of time however, you must stay a good rabbit.”

She nibbled his ankles in tiny kisses. He smiled slightly and caressed her in the soft spot between the ears.

“Be calm, please.”

He got up and watched his hand were he could see tracery drawn in the burnt marks his palm held. It has been so soft when Lea had touched him that way, yes it was painful but pain meant nothing to him…

And, in a way, he was happy to have given a bit of his feelings about the whole situation back at the Organization time. Just a bit. Just what mattered in this case.

And he must say that he was still worry for Lea, in fact.

As he was thinking that he started to dry his wet body, trying to do a methodical act to swipe out those memories. But he couldn’t. They were there. They were a big part of him because he knew how much he made mistakes at this moment. Just to please Axel, just because he clenched to him more than he shouldn’t…

Still now, he wished Lea could be here. He wished… no, needed to talk with him. When he was talking with him, when Lea was touching him, everything changed… He felt better… That was the reason why he was as selfish as Lea. He needed him so much in his life…

He would do anything to have a chance to enter and stay in his life again.

He would support Roxas and Xion. Just for some smiles stole, just for some glace or contacts… Just to share more lunch with someone. He could start to take his break, if it was to receive a truly soft Sunlight on his skin…

A tiny nibble on his ankle made him look down.

Yutu rose herself on her two paws, her tiny nose moving quickly.

He smiled. Barely.

“Wait, Yutu,” he said. “I’m not doing so bad.”

He grabbed some clothes and put them on his dried body then took out the second towel and managed to brush his long locks. Yutu hopped around him, bumping her nose in his feet once in a while.

“Yes, yes. You’re really restive.”

Isa grabbed a hair tie and slid it around his wrist before sliding his mane in three parts and started to tie them in a braid.

“Yes, Yutu, yes,” he said as he received a bump.

He tied his hairs and crouched to take the rabbit, using the towel to dry the paws slightly wet and then pressed a kiss on her head before moving out of the room.

“I’ve a piece of apple for you and then we can read a good book. What do you think about that?”

She rose herself and ‘kissed’ his face, making him tenderly smile.

She wouldn’t read with him but he would be happy to have her in his arms. Unless she would again devour one of his books, like it already happened not once, not twice but three times.

Dishes and glasses were hitting each other as Lea tried to recover them all. Pence and Hayner were laughing with Roxas while Olette was looking her phone, a smile on her lips. Xion was finishing her dessert.

“Anybody to help me?” Lea asked.

“There, you’re sad Saïx didn’t stay longer,” Roxas taunted with a smile.

“Eh! He didn’t want to have a dessert and he has his life,” the man replied.

Xion got up and quickly came to help him.

Lea gave her a part of the dishes as he honeslty thought that Isa preferred to not stay too much with the two teenagers he didn’t like. He stayed already way much more than he wanted first.

And the general mood in the supper wasn’t exactly the kind he was comfortable with. It was full of good energy, laugh and a kind of mayhem. A thing Lea really loved but Isa? Certainly not.

Xion walked to the kitchen to put the dishes in the sink and when Lea glanced, he was happy to have done a bit of cleaning yet.

“I would need a hand or two,” he said.

“It’s getting late, Sir!” Hayner replied. “My parents will not be happy if I stay longer, you know I live away!”

He smiled widely and Lea could sense that he wanted to flee away. Probably because he was the one cleaning at _Le Grand Bistrot_…

“Hm… Go.”

“And I’ve to leave too. I’m waited. But I can start?” Olette offered.

“But I thought your parents weren’t there,” Roxas said.

Olette glanced at Hayner who had his arms folded and she smiled.

“Oh!” he let out.

“Okay, okay. And ya? What’s your excuse?” Lea asked to pence, giving more dishware to Xion who came back.

“Actually, I can stay…”

“Wouldn’t be fair. Just flee,” Lea smiled.

“Maybe it was a trap,” Olette laughed. “Sir, next time, we brought a bit of food! We’ll behave!”

“I hope for that!” the man laughed.

He let them say bye to Xion and Roxas, moving his hand to say goodbye and taking care of what left of the tableware, stacking it in the sink and preparing the foamy water. When he came back in the piece, it was with a tea towel and he bent over the table to clean it a bit. Roxas frowned, as he got up, looking him doing it.

“You’re okay?” he wondered.

“Yeah. Isa said it was better to do that.”

Roxas tilted the head and glanced at Xion who was putting the chairs in place.

“By the way, next time…” Lea looked up at them. “I’d like you to warn me when you invite your friends.”

“You didn’t want to?” Xion asked, a bit of worry in her voice.

“No, I’m really okay about it. It’s just… better to ask.”

“Axel you should take care,” Roxas said.

“Take care?” he repeated, surprise, as he pushed the dirty part in his palm.

“Yeah… Saïx…”

“What?” Lea replied with a frown.

“He… He’s trying to change you.”

“He helps me,” Lea corrected. “I don’t know how to do those things.”

“You were doing absolutely awesomely!” Roxas said.

“That’s right,” Xion whispered. “You’re awesome and we’re really happy with you.”

“I’m happy with you too but this wasn’t sane at all. From now on, I’ll serve better food and you will help a bit with the chore. And warn me when you bring friends home.”

“See?” Roxas said.

Lea sighed, his hand closing around the dirt food.

“You said it was okay for us to bring them home?” Xion breathed out, lost.

“I’m! But you have to warn me. I won’t say ‘no’ but you have to warn me. Isa helped me to do food for tomorrow too and there is nothing left. Imagine if we hadn’t planned that much food. What we would have done?”

“Like the others time?” Xion offered.

“Yeah! Of course! And that’s what I don’t wanna!”

Lea turned to the kitchen to throw away the food very unpleasant against his skin.

“What Saïx will try to change in our life?” Roxas asked. “What Saïx will do to have you back? It’s just like the last time! He tries to hurt you!”

Lea clenched his hand on the side of the work plan. He was so lost. He wasn’t the good parent he wanted to be. He understood that Roxas was so afraid and thought he was about to lost him. He changed. Maybe too fast. But he wanted to do the things right… He has been too good for too long, that was the problem…

And the fact Isa came back in his life…

He understood the teenagers were uneasy. After everything they had passed through. Whatever for what reason, whatever he had been so worry for him, he still hurt them so much.

He didn’t want to hurt Roxas and Xion but neither Isa…

He couldn’t force them to see each other but he had to be a correct parent…

“Axel?” Xion said with a tiny voice. “Do you… need help with the dishes?”

“Yeah… Yeah, it’d be nice from you. Thanks,” Lea said, still doubtful.

The bed cracked when Lea let his weight crash on it. He wasn’t that heavy but the bed had been bought in a second-hand shop, as almost everything else here, and so it has seen a lot of things…

Lea passed his hands in his hair and let out a long sigh.

He was exhausted.

So exhausted.

He was trying to do his best but it wasn’t as easy as he thought it will be. Was he too strict now? Roxas seemed really upset and he didn’t want to make him upset… Same for Xion. He had changed a lot of rules and he did understand it was hard for them… Before, it was just fun, ice cream and fat food. He would let them go to the beach whenever they wanted, to their friends’ home or let them come. He just adapted…

Sometimes, he would wait for them to go home, afraid.

It happened often, in fact. It was one of the reason he had wanted to change… He wanted them happy but when he worried for three or four hours because they weren’t home yet and he didn’t know if something had happened to them… Or they’d come back, having eat already and there was too much food he would keep for his noon break. For days. Because he couldn’t throw food away like that but couldn’t neither let them eat that…

He was so lost. Maybe Isa was wrong? The guy had been raised in a very strict family where you have umpteen cutlery to eat with and dozens of plates to eat. Where you couldn’t put your elbow on the table and always had to ask before leaving the table. Isa grew up in a family where everything was clean and the rules were unbearable.

Maybe it was too much.

Lea didn’t think Isa was trying to tear him apart from the teenagers but… but maybe he did? He had showed doubt in regard of them!

“Fuck!” Lea groaned, pressing his hands over his face.

He needed to know…

He rolled on the side to take out his Gummiphone, the same that he had put there when he decided to go on the shower. His hairs were still dripping and wetting his bed but at this point, he just didn’t care. Because he didn’t know if he had to check if the teenagers were on their beds yet, trying to sleep, or if he should do nothing like before.

They were fifteen or sixteen after all!

He pressed the correct key on his phone, his hand trembling a bit, knowing he will have to face everything going wrong in his life.

He shouldn’t have tried.

“Yes?”

“Goodnight! I’m sorry to disturb you but I knew you’d be up.”

“You’re right. What can I do for you?”

“I’m… I don’t know what to do…” He closed his eyes. “I think I’m not doing what I should… I wanted to become a better parent but I just have upset Roxas and maybe Xion too…”

“Lea…”

He heard a sigh.

To Lea, it was the sigh of disappointment. He was doing so badly.

“That’s normal.”

“Normal?”

“Yes. They’re not used to authority, that’s not abnormal they react that way. It’s theretofore normal to react to your parent’s authority in a normal case but in yours…”

“Please, Ienzo! Told me you already did this!”

“My case was different, in the most important parts. However, yes, it happened to me to. Even when my Father asked me to stay in the Castle, I would sneak out. It’s normal. I believe you have to try to do it pace by pace.”

“I try… I didn’t do much. I… I don’t think? I just asked them to warn me before bringing friends home and to ask me when they’ll go somewhere after school… and to help in the chores. And… I started to give them real food!”

“That looks correct to me,” Ienzo replied.

“Yeah.”

“It just must be a bit difficult for them. Because you changed everything around them? They’re pretty young, in the end. They never got a decent and stable place.”

“Yeah. That’s why I wanted something correct for them! I’m trying my best!”

“You will succeed, Lea. I believe in you!”

“Thank you. Coming from you, it means so much. I really will do my best!”

“I know! Just try to do what you can and everything will be alright. Doing mistakes is okay. And you can ask for help anytime. Father would be glad to help you.”

“Really? Even? He hates me!”

“Hm… After all, you killed him.”

“I killed you too and you like me!”

“Yes, after having try to kill you three times.”

“Four!”

“For the last time, this coffee was for me!”

“Yeah, yeah! It’s what you say!” the man snickered.

Ienzo felt a bit of kindness there, an invitation to laugh and he grabbed it. They both needed a bit of fun together. To forget the hard work for one, to forget the things that went wrongs…


	12. A voice in the maze

This morning, when Isa pushed the doors of his work, he heard a whistle. Immediately, his eyes slowly turned toward Iris who was smiling to him widely. Just next to her, Markus rose his thumb to him, stopping to look his computer for few seconds. Though, he went back quickly to it. Maybe the golden sparkle in those turquoise eyes seemed to cast lightening now?

“Woah! It’s going cold there! Why are you so pretty!?”

“I’m not ‘so pretty’ but thank you, I suppose.”

And yet, he was. He did a really complicated hairdressing and yet that ended in a bun because that way, he could work easily but you could see the tiny braids, the effort… the amount of pain to do that. And he was wearing a really elegant pant, with leather boots and a top showing his shoulders, some laces on his arms and a V-neck. He was also wearing bracelets and a collar. Everything with Moon on it. A chain was disappearing under his top, however. And his ears were as hiding as he could.

In fact, you could also notice that something had changed in his face, his scar being less appeared. Maybe he tried to hide it?

Hide the truth.

In a desperate move…

“You are!”

“If you don’t see any objection, I’ll take my break at noon.”

“It’s your break time, Isa! You’re supposed to take your break,” Markus said.

“I usually don’t need to have it,” he reminded.

“That’s bad!” Markus screamed to him as Isa moved to the maze of shelves and, so, could work.

As every day, there were books not at their places. They always left the Library just a bit after closing it. Just the time to check how many they had left, to be sure the workplace was okay and to tidy what was really in need. They have to look like a real Library if people arrived really soon. Though they were all there before it even opened. Isa could arrive before them but since it wasn’t needing… His schedule started only in one quarter. Markus and Iris, however, started before him. They stopped before him too, leaving him with this huge amount of work and the inability of tidying up everything. He did his best however…

As long as his work was done, he could leave.

Could leave without having to stay with his boss.

Now, he just wanted to empty his mind and work. He would think about Yutu that had been so soft this morning while the moment he was giving her food. He would also think about things he could help Lea with.

His friend wanted to do so much good and he wanted to help him. But… there again, he thought he was being selfish. Now that Lea was in his life again, he needed him so much. He wanted to have him around. He couldn’t have enough of that…

And yet…

Hours passed one by one. As the hours always do, except of accident.

Noon was about to arrive so Isa had approached from the entry. He wanted to see Lea when he’ll arrive. Because he knew he was about to arrive. He said so yesterday, after all…

Minutes were swallowed and Noon passed.

Isa kept working but wasn’t that surprised Lea wasn’t there yet. He was rarely on time so it wasn’t a problem to him. He just kept glancing at the door and sliding the books on their right place.

“And it’s Noon passed by eight minutes!” Iris said when the door closed on the reader she just took care of.

Markus nodded as he was scanning the books for someone else.

In fact, usually, Isa despised leaving around Noon because it was always the moment full. Of students coming to get books, on people having a bit of break… It was also pretty peculiar because they have to check that no one would eat while reading. They had so many books covered by food stains and they could do nothing against that…

“Isaaaaaaa! I’m talking to _you_!” she sighed.

“My apologies,” he said, turned toward her. “What do you wish from me?”

“It’s Noon passed by eight minutes.”

“Nine, now!” Markus commented. “Thank you, have a nice day and a good reading,” he smiled to the lady leaving the Library.

“Yes. I heard you the first time.”

“And so? I thought you’d take your break time today?”

“I’ll take it later,” he replied.

“But…” Iris started. “Oh! OH!!” she let out in a shriek.

The group of person with sandwiches under their arms and laughs stopped and frowned to her.

“You’re waiting for the Guard!” she pointed out.

“No,” he said.

He pushed a book on place and walked to the reception to help them with such a group.

“Of course it’s ‘yes’ don’t lie to me!”

The group moved to Markus and Isa glanced to them.

“You want to see the Guard! That’s why you’re so pretty!!”

Isa frowned and bent toward her. “He’s my childhood friend, that’s all. And I’m just normal.”

“Yay, yay.”

“Don’t you have friends you enjoy the presence?”

“I do! But I don’t go so pretty for them. I’m also not so happy since they’re around!”

“You can’t understand,” he replied, calmly.

He turned his head toward Markus to see if he needed their help but it seemed the group as really together and wished to sit and eat while reading comics…

“You can eat outside and then can read inside but we can’t let you eat here,” Markus explained to them.

“It’s raining!” one teenager said.

“You want us to stay outside when it’s raining buckets?!” a girl yelled.

“Please, please!” Markus said.

Isa folded his arms and watched the whole scenery, ready to intervene if he had to. He was still able to make shiver people with few words and when he wanted something, it was quite rare he didn’t succeed to have it. Especially if it was for his job sake.

The door opened again, though not surprising at all, Markus glanced to his colleagues. Iris bounced on place and moved her hand. She was quite tiny and with the mass of people, it was just hard to see her.

“Here, here!” she said.

Isa glanced at her and then moved outside of the reception zone, walking around the group.

“You better must calm yourself quickly or you will be accompany out of the Library,” he warned as he walked next them.

He didn’t even look them but his tone was unbelievably cold.

“Tss, let’s go out of there!” he groaned. “If we’re sick, you’ll see.”

“Yes, please, throw up in our Library and then clean everything by yourself.”

As he said the two last words, Isa looked the biggest guy of the gang. Which gulped and groaned.

“Let’s go,” he said.

He went out, mumbling against the unbelievable rain outside.

Isa glanced to a window as the mass of teenagers were taking the doors. He couldn’t see who was the new person coming inside but he could see the rain. Somewhere, in a tiny spot of his mind, he hoped Lea didn’t come because of this rain. His friend could be so lazy sometimes, it wouldn’t be that surprising…

When he turned his face to the new person, that had pressed their back against the wall to let the group pass, he stopped.

The person was looking him.

“I thought it was your voice,” they said to him.

“You were right…”

“I also believed we could come inside if it was raining…”

“Yes, you can. As long as you don’t eat inside.”

“I see.”

There was a long silence and Isa knew Markus and Iris were staring him. Mostly because the person he was talking with didn’t stop throwing look toward them.

Now, what should he do?

He was totally trapped.

And with this rain outside…

Not that he would matter of ending totally wet, to be honest. He never understood people who couldn’t stand to be sprayed like that. Especially when a lot of them went in a shower to ‘erase this feeling’ or, like in this case, were living by the sea anyway.

“Can… I stay? I don’t have any card.”

“If you just want to settle down and read a bit, you can go in the reading room. You don’t need a card for that,” Markus replied as Isa and the person were watching each other.

Isa couldn’t reply something smart enough. And he felt like his face was burning. Especially in an X shape across his forehead.

His eyes followed the person as they thanked them and moved to the reading room.

“Should I go with…” Iris started, perplexed.

“I’m taking my break time if there is no objection,” Isa said.

“Uh… Yeah, yeah!” Iris replied with a smile.

Markus nodded and watched as Isa walked to the reading room. He didn’t have to search long. The person was sitting in the big table, settle down what seemed to be a book. Few droplets were sliding along their hairs. The rain was heavy now, lashing against the windows in a powerful sound but it just had started when they arrived…

“Naminé?” he called.

She turned her head, pressing her hand over not a book but her drawing sketchbook…

“Hello again?” she said with a confused smirk.

“Greetings, yes.” He approached her. For two seconds he hesitated to take a chair but didn’t. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“In the Library?”

“In Twilight Town.”

“I lived here most of my life, in fact,” she replied with a tiny smile.

“I thought you would stay with Even.”

“I tried,” she said. “But I didn’t feel at my place there. I went in Destiny Islands for a time but… it didn’t felt _right_.”

“Probably because Nobodies aren’t meant to pass time with their fully completed being. Not like that.”

“You’re probably right,” she said. “Kairi is a lovely person and it was really nice to be with her but… something was wrong.”

“I understand.”

She smirked because she wasn’t exactly sure he could understand.

“You’re living… alone?”

She nodded. “I’m living in the Manor, outside the town,” she explained.

“How do you…”

“With difficulties,” she replied, letting herself laugh a little.

More with nervousness than actual joy.

“Why?” she wondered. “I’m… you’re in the Light side, right?”

“Perhaps? What tell you I won’t lie to you there?” he asked.

“Nothing. But there is something in you. You look…”

“… like someone who wouldn’t hurt you? But I could. You don’t know me. I still could…”

“… follow Xemnas’ orders?”

Isa stopped to talk and looked her. She got up and took his hand in her, slowly and carefully.

“Your eyes seem full of Light and I want to believe you walked out from this… situation.”

Isa frowned.

“Why did you come talk to me?” she wondered, wanting to change the subject.

She felt like he was really uneasy about the talk and she got it.

Isa didn’t want to say it to her, honestly. The reason? When Axel left the Organization, he saved Naminé from the obscures plans that threatened to exterminate her, him… them. He took care of her for a long time. She was still with him when they met and he asked for Kairi… She always stayed with him and he really seemed to appreciate her.

So, seeing her, he supposed that she was with Lea. Her, too. He wanted to ask where he was because… Iris was more than right. He wanted to be pretty for Lea because he wanted it. Not necessarily to please him and being with him in the end… just for he wanted to please him…

“I just wanted to know why you were here. I was surprised. Now, I know you’re doing very well.”

He tilted slightly his head and tugged back his hand, swirling to leave.

He heard the chair against the floor as he arrived at the invisible line separating the reading room from the rest of the Library. He passed few shelves and… stopped…

It was stupid but something was digging in his Heart right now. Was it selfishness? Was it obsession? Was it right or false?

He was thinking Lea cared for Naminé. He had been next to her in few occasion, had taken care of her… As much as he had wanted to take care of Roxas and Xion and protect them, wash his faults, he wouldn’t want Naminé to be in a bad situation. Alone in a big house? Struggling to live? With no one to talk with? Having to do… whatever she had to do to eat and take care of a dying house… In fact, it wasn’t his kind to let someone starve to death, not have water, not feeling safe. Years before, he was just a child but he helped Lea to sneak out in his house because he wanted him doing well.

It was the reason he turned and walked to the room.

“Naminé?” he asked as he came next to her.

“Yes?” she replied, her pencil moving out from her drawing.

“Do you plan to stay alone in this old Manor or do you seek with someone to live with?”

“I… I’d like to live with someone… but it’s kind of difficult to arrive somewhere and ask to live with them,” she said. “I’m already lucky when people give me food. Even if I try to buy it myself!!” she added quickly, her cheeks red.

Isa looked the sketchbook and saw a lot of sketches from strangers in the current page.

“You were selling sketches for livelihood?”

“Yes. That didn’t work well but I did my best. And… stored as much as possible. I… I’m not alone since long so, for now it was pretty okay. Don’t worry.”

Isa tugged the chair next to her and sat.

“I’d like to offer you something… You could have food and even go to school if that interest you.”

She waited. Because she couldn’t hope just like that.

“Do you want to live with me?”

“Really?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Rea… really? Really?”

“Yes, Naminé. You can stay here while I’m working and after my schedule, we will go at my home. We will install you. I hope you don’t have any problems with rabbit.”

“You have a rabbit?” she asked, her eyes sparkling.

Isa nodded.

“Can I draw him?”

“Her. And yes. If you need anything, just tell it to me.”

She nodded.

“Can I… hug you?” she asked.

She wanted to ask ‘why’, show some worries, especially for him but she just smiled widely to him.

He frowned at the question and just patted her head without moving away.


	13. Storm

Break time was approaching and also big grey clouds.

Twilight Town was a beautiful World but the biggest Town had the sea next to it and so the wind and the rain were strong when they happened. Since the Xehanort’s thread was suppressed, and before the last year event, it was the biggest menace the world had too suffer.

Really, Lea was doing nothing with his time.

In case of accident, he had his Gummiphone on him anyway but what he was really was nothing more than a pretty man who had to show himself around, as he had said to Isa.

Isa…

He was the main reason why he had started to keep the town pretty…

Not that the town was that unclean. But people let boxes all around, the sewerage gave on a side of the Downtown and things had to be dealt there. Mostly because of the unbearable stench coming from there.

So… He started as a child running around, stealing and sneaking in and out to save his life. Then, he became a young adult having to kill people for the sake of a mad man, to protect his life and his friend’s life. And finally, he turned his back to the organization, turning into a defender of the Light… Only to end up pushing trashes can, chasing smell and helping old people and child around.

It wasn’t that awesome.

Not with that he’d be remembered.

Especially… because he had so many problems in his private life.

It was Hell.

This morning, Roxas was still… pretty concerned by the situation. He showed so many doubts toward Isa. He was so afraid that things will change and their fragile new live will collapse…

Lea could get it and he had to explain him he risked nothing.

Everything had changed in such a short time. Roxas was holding to what he had… He too, he was like that.

He walked toward his house, his Heart shattering.

He doubted. Maybe he can only become a better parent in special points. Maybe he could become a better parent with the food but not the rest? He could try to follow some advices from Isa but not them all? It was hard because he didn’t know what he had to do or not. Because, he, he was coming from a huge family that used to live between three walls and there wasn’t roof everywhere. They had to stick together. They shared chores but there weren’t that much chores to share… It was more sharing food, cheering each other. Whatever they had the Heart for it or not.

He wanted the same for his little family…

Was it bad?

Was it selfish again?

He was almost arrived when he noticed the sky becoming even darker. He didn’t like that…he preferred the unremitting sunset’s color scheme than this. It was warmer. Comfier.

He quickly walked to his house and as soon he arrived in front of the house, he pushed his key in the hole and entered just as the rain was starting to fall. He let out a sigh and walked to his freezer. Opening it, he looked the source of the conflict. A unique part of Hachis Parmentier. This morning, they had talked about it, okay… about the fact it was supposed to last two or three days. It wouldn’t be the best to eat always the same but Isa also said that, if everything was fresh, he could put it in deep freezer, for taking out later and even if it would be something he’d put in the freezer, like before, it would be healthier.

This morning, he had asked what they had to do with that and Roxas had replied that he could ask to _Saïx_. While Lea understood that Roxas was scared and bitter, while he understood that his young friend had lived really hard times with Isa back at the time he was Saïx. Himself, sometimes, he wondered how someone that had held his hand so often to him could be that cruel with someone that just needed a bit of care and love…

He couldn’t hold this against Roxas.

He just thought… he was doing wrongly and this Hachis Parmentier was the proof…

He had nothing against Olette, Pence and Hayner. He was glad to have them! And he had invited Isa without their opinion. With help and a nice cookbook, he could do others meal. Finishing one in one day wasn’t a problem. Maybe he was changing? Isa wasn’t as strict as his parents but he did have a really firm education.

Lea was lost. Really lost…

He didn’t know what he had to do.

He wanted to call Ienzo, Isa… anybody. He even wanted to go to Radiant Garden and found his parents, begging them to teach him how to do. They must have a secret because he was…

He wasn’t that good, in fact.

So?

What to do?

He couldn’t just do it. He couldn’t… He couldn’t just try. He had to succeed. He had failed so many times…

He looked this Hachis Parmentier.

Maybe, tonight, he would warm that in the microwave and do something nice to Roxas and Xion? But what? Could he add vegetables in their food.

He didn’t know.

He didn’t know at all.

He grabbed his head in his hands, twirling his hairs between his fingers. It hurt but he didn’t care.

He had to find.

He must find.

He…

His nails dug more.

He hiccupped under the pain.

Why…

Why he just couldn’t? Why did he…

As he thought at this, his mind swirled. He didn’t know why but his mind reached the time where Saïx told him Roxas wasn’t worth it, Xion too. That he was doing something that will hurt him.

Yes, he was hurt but… but only because he wanted to do well and didn’t know.

Didn’t know…

And Saïx, Isa…

“ISA!”

Lea turned his head to the window and gasped when he saw the rain. He was so swallowed in a swirl of incomprehension and trying, he didn’t hear the droplets hammering against the glass.

“Shit.”

He grabbed the side of his hood and tugged it on his hairs then quickly came out of the house. He didn’t even check for his keys and ran toward the Library.

It was already so late.

So late!

He hated himself.

He hated himself so much.

Again.

Again?!

Why he had to do that again and again?

Why he couldn’t be on time?!

Isa was someone really uptight, with a high education and he was really gross… It wasn’t correct. He was selfish and didn’t care enough for him. Why Isa would accept to keep him around?

The doors slammed violently in the Library. People jumped and turned toward the entry. Iris let out an annoyed shriek as the reader in front of her had his hand on his Heart. Markus blinked. And Isa stormed out, books in arms, and brows horribly frowned. His cold and dark expression, though, softened a bit.

“Are you nuts?”

“ISA!”

Lea ran to him, the cold droplets dripped from his clothes and hands, catching his hand. The only one not holding the books.

“Isa! I’m so sorry! I’m sorry to make you wait again! I’m so so so sorry! I didn’t want to!”

“It’s fine, Lea. Waiting for you is my hobby. I’ll wait for you my entire life,” he swore with a tender tone.

Lea saw a little smile on his face and emotions swirled in him. On one hand, it was really cute and nice from Isa; on the other, he just wanted to hiccup, realizing. Realizing that waiting for him was really just Isa’s life. Already when they were young, he waited for him so he could live and came out from his morose daily routine… He had waited for him so many time in the Organization, for him to come back from the mission, worrying about the danger of them, waited for him to come back from Castle Oblivion, waited for… for everything.

Something shattered in him.

But not in a bad way.

It was just…just the realization of the fact Isa was always pushing him first. He understood every time he told him “I just want to see you happy”. He got that the fact Saïx had wanted to protect him from Roxas was something true… maybe he had sense the fact that Roxas would leave? And Isa told him how much it was sometimes hard to give him the favors he wanted… turning toward Xemnas.

He felt on his knees and pressed the hand against his cheek.

“I’m sorry to be such a piece of shit,” he whispered. “I don’t deserve you.”

Isa crouched next to him. He knew people were watching them, especially Iris since he was hearing Markus offering to the reader to come to him. But he didn’t care. All he cared was his best friend, the one he loved so much… the one who had his whole Heart in his hand but didn’t know it… With his hand imprisoned by his, he caressed softly and tenderly his cheek.

“You do deserve me. You don’t have to be perfect. You bring me a lot. Just not what you’re expecting…”

Lea didn’t believe that.

But right now, he didn’t exactly feel… worthy.

He realized how much Isa and Saïx did for him and how much he didn’t realize it. It was so normal for him but it was so clear! The number of times he let him sneak out in his house, when he gave him food. Too much food. When, the cheeks red, he was taking a shower with him because he would have been too weird that the shower was ongoing while he was doing something else.

And there was certainly a lot he didn’t have told him.

“Why are you so pretty?”

“Why I…”

Isa tried to fight again the palpitation his new Heart was feeling, ready to jump in his ribcage, making him feel so bad, as if a swarm of pretty Luna Moths would burst out of his lips if ever he talked…

“Your hairs, your clothes… You’re so pretty…”

“Oh?”

Isa thought he could be less stressed but in fact, he was even more stressed…

“I just dress and tied my hairs quickly.”

“I know you were skilled but there it’s magic!” Lea laughed.

Isa smiled slightly. As long as he didn’t get the truth…

“You have to get up. I’ll have to work in a matter of minutes…”

“It’s so late already? I’m so sorry, Isa. I really have no excuse. I went home quickly and I lost myself in a staring battle with the Hachis Parmentier from yesterday.”

Isa blinked.

“Excuse me?”

Lea was smiling widely because he didn’t feel like he could annoy him with that. Not again. And he didn’t want Isa to feel bad… Not much more than he did.

“No, no. I’m sorry! I beg you to pardon me! Is like that we said? You really don’t have to.”

Isa moved out, getting up and folding his arms. His palm seemed to burn but in a lovely way.

“You know what I meant.”

“Maybe? Yes? No? Anyway!” Lea got up. “How can I excuse myself? Should we see? I call you? I come tomorrow with cookies? I come every day? We’ll go at the beach this week-end. You can come! But anything… You know? I just want you to be happy!”

Outch. He was so stupid. Could he invite Isa? First, will Isa be interested? Secondly, will the teenagers would be okay for that? For few minutes, maybe one hour or a bit more, he really thought about not trying to conserve this friendship. For them? For the teenagers? He didn’t know anymore… He felt like trying to catch up with Isa was bad but he also knew that… that he didn’t want to lose him.

He wanted…

He wanted to… He just wanted to kiss him all over his face. But not like when he was child and would throw his arms around him and kiss him with big sound and laugh. Suddenly, he seemed so precious, like a precious crystal or anything and wanted to kiss him softly, in every inch of his skin. He was so pretty like that, he was so precious and he hated so much to just realize now everything Isa did for him. For having betrayed him because he couldn’t get. You talk about a friend! And now… now this love swallowing his Heart was endangering this friendship.

Maybe… Maybe it wasn’t love? Maybe he was just admiring him and feeling so indebted because of everything he did for him? He had been so nice. So dedicated… so perfect.

No, bad feelings! Bad feelings that tried to push Isa away from him once again!!

“We’ll talk about it later,” Isa offered.

Isa’s voice saved him and he nodded.

“I’ll call you!”

“Thank you.” Isa stared him. “You should go to work again, Lea. Try to not catch a cold.”

“Yes! You’re right! Of course!”

He smiled and moved from a foot to the other before slowly slid toward him.

Will he kiss him?

Was he that dumb?

He couldn’t!

He pressed a kiss on his cheek and bounced backward, rising his thumbs.

“You’re the best!” he said before moving to the entry.

Iris blinked and threw a pen to Isa. “Do something!” she articulated rather than said.

Isa frowned, the soft warm swirling in him.

“Lea. You still own me a lunch.”

“Yes!” he replied, swirling in the threshold. “I come tomorrow! I swear!”

“You really should.”

Lea smiled widely to him and moved out.

Without even knowing it, they both let out a sigh at the same time, though it was really discrete for Isa…


	14. Coming home

It was still raining and Lea had never been so happy to be that slim, holding himself under a little canopy, his arms around him. He was a bit cold and could see the droplets fall in a wet curtain.

And as he watched it, he couldn’t help but think about Isa.

These feelings spouting in him were so powerful, he wondered if they were nestled there since long or not.

Maybe.

He was dumb enough to think Isa wasn’t his best friend for so long, just thinking he was a random friend. His childhood friend in the best case. Maybe he was dumb enough to not realize he loved him. Understand that it was more? For him, taking a shower with Isa, eating with him, staying around him, annoying him, even sliding in his bed or killing for him… it was just friendship. And by Kingdom Hearts, how could he be so dumb?

He wanted to see him, talk to him, hug him… It had always been like that and yet… Yet, he felt something new and special in this need.

But he had searched him everywhere so often.

Why?

Why…

“AXEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!”

“AXEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!”

He turned his head to Roxas and Xion, running to him under the diluvial rain. They both jumped to him and hugged him tightly. Immediately, Lea felt his Heart warming. He loved to have them against him like that. The rain was still lashing them but he could, at least, trying to protect them with his arms and his love.

“School was cool?” he asked with a smile.

“It was!” Xion replied.

“Yeah, we had fun!” Roxas continued.

“I’m glad to know that! I’m almost down with my schedule and we can grab ice cream… ugh though with this time. I wish I could do ice cream by my own!”

Lea moved his hand from around Roxas and scratched his nape.

“That would be awesome!” Xion laughed.

“Saïx could teach you?”

Lea looked down to Roxas who just talked to him.

“I don’t think he can…” he replied.

“Oh,” Xion said.

“Aw… but you know, if you want to make him come, we wanted to go to Hayner’s home,” Roxas explained.

“If you’re okay?” Xion quickly added.

Lea looked one and then the other. He sighed and crouched, taking their hands.

“You… Really don’t like him?” Lea wondered.

“I think he doesn’t like us,” Roxas replied.

The man held back a sigh. He couldn’t say otherwise. And he didn’t want the teenagers to feel bad because of the fact they could sense Isa hated them. When Isa hated you, it was obvious. A dark aura coming from him. Something unpleasant and suffocating… Oppressive.

Of course, they could sense it.

Of course, they didn’t feel welcome in their own house anymore. He had to find the perfect balance because he wanted to see Isa. He wanted to drown himself in the purity of his eyes but he also had to be the perfect parent for his children.

Maybe it should be that. Times he would steal, not forcing them to be with each other but having both.

Was it possible to have the best of both Worlds?

“But… You don’t feel forced, right?” he wondered. “And don’t try to lie to me!”

Xion let out a giggle. “We wouldn’t dare!”

“Don’t worry, Axel. We like our friends and we still have the presentation.”

“You can invite them, you know. Just… ask.”

Roxas nodded. “But maybe it’s a good thing to go at their place sometimes? Not always the same must move, right?”

“Yes.”

Lea smiled widely and ruffled his hair.

“It’s still raining!”

Iris let out a sigh but walked to the door anyway. She turned toward Isa who was cleaning everything, like always.

“We’re leaving. Everything will be alright?”

“Yes. Thank you for your consideration,” the man said.

She smiled to him and waved before leaving the Library with Markus. Isa finished putting the books on their right place. Iris was right: the sound of the rain falling against the windows was echoing in the empty rooms. You could only hear the sound of the droplets, only hear the breathings…

After few minutes, Isa came to the reception and sat at Iris’ place, moving the mouse to accessing to the computer and find the accounting of the day.

“Naminé?” he called as he was typing in the keyboard.

He found the numbers and grabbed the brick of post-it and a pen to take notes. He started to use it, in very neat columns were he write tiny numbers quickly, when the teenager arrived, holding her sketchbook against her Heart.

“Yes?”

“I’m almost done, be sure to gather the entirety of your belongings, please.”

“It’s done,” she said.

Isa glanced up and just nodded, still writing number so quickly.

Naminé didn’t dare to approach him and stayed there. Her feelings were mixed. On one hand, she wanted to reach out to him, glad from the offering he gave her, on the other one, she could remember everything that went wrong when she was the slave of the Organization. And Saïx was the Second-in-Command, the right-arm of Xemnas. He asked for those. He did those things to her…

So she waited, standing, looking him…

Minutes moved and finally, Isa got up. He checked around with one glance then walked to the door he opened and turned toward Naminé. So, the girl ran to him and thanked him as she went outside. They had to walk in a tiny corridor to arrive to two news doors. As they arrived, they passed in front of a coat rack with only one vest with fake fur on the hood and at the end of the sleeve and bottom of the cloth.

“Wait, please.”

“Yes?” she said, turning toward him.

“Here, please,” he said, handing her the vest.

“For me?”

“Yes.”

“You’ll be wet.”

“That’s nothing. Please. You could at least protect your sketchbook that way.”

She smiled softly and took it, passing it around her back and there, she seemed to have a beautiful dress because Isa was way taller than her.

Isa held the door to her and then walked out of the Library together. The man just turned the key in the hole to lock it so they could go at his house. She followed him, not knowing where he was living.

Holding tightly the side of the best to protect her sketchbook, she glanced at him once in the while.

The rain was really heavy and hit his skins, especially on the shoulders, and his hairs so beautifully fastened were messily untying…

“Thank you.”

“That’s normal.”

“You don’t have to…”

“However, I feel like I have to. And I present you my apologies for having cut you short.”

She shook her head. Then her lips opened slightly but she couldn’t talk…

“I’m truly sorry for what happened to you when Lord Xemnas found you…” he said.

“You…”

She wanted to say he wasn’t responsible but it was hard because… well, he was responsible in a way. She did understand why, yes, but he was one of those who had hurt her the most…

She could count three like that…

“You don’t have to find excuses for me. You were a child, and you’re still are.”

“You mean you wouldn’t have cared if I was a grown up?”

“At this time, I wouldn’t,” he replied. “Now…” He kept his lips close for few seconds. “Now I possess a Heart and I wish to change. To become better…”

“Don’t be too harsh on yourself, please, Saïx… Isa. You weren’t the only one. You had to take care of me and you had to follow your Master’s orders but the others new for me and none of them did anything… Some even took advantage. But you…”

She glanced at him and just tightened her arms around her sketchbook through the warm coat.

“I… I’m not saying I’m not afraid,” she said. “But I think you haven’t done so bad… I mean, Sa… Isa… It’s over,” she whispered.

He looked her and moved out his hand. As she didn’t do anything to move away, he pushed a bit the hood over her face, protecting her from the rain. She smiled to him and moved up her hand. His fingers twitched but he slid them down, catching it softly and letting her bringing it even downer.

“So! About your bunny?!” she smiled, wanting to relax the atmosphere.

Isa looked her and a really tiny smile appeared on his lips.

Arms folded, Lea watched Xion and Roxas as they were working on the floor, as always. They didn’t need to do it but it felt comfier for them. They had cocoa coming out from bottles and also tiny waffle with sugar nuggets coming from a box he used to buy. It didn’t seem to be something bad to give them and he didn’t felt enough confident to just prepare himself the after-school snack.

“When do you think you’ll leave?” he wondered.

“Oh!” Roxas said with a fake choked tone. “You’re so eager to see us leave?!”

“Nooo!” he replied. “I love you both! I want to keep you just for me!!”

“And yet! Maybe you’re eager to make Saïx come!” he smiled.

“Ah! I wouldn’t push you away just for that! I just wonder when you leave and when you think you’ll come back?”

“Why?” Xion wondered.

“So I know when I’ll start to worry,” Lea smiled.

“I don’t want you to worry!”

“So come back on time!” he replied.

Roxas watched him without a word. “We don’t know yet,” he finally said. “We have a lot of work and the presentation is soon. We may come back late. Or have to stay there?”

Lea stared him, his lips slightly open. He wanted to say that was a problem and he needed to know but… But he didn’t know if he could step in this discussion. He totally knew how this would end and he didn’t like that at all…

Should he become firmer, smile and accept?

Pressing his fingers against a switch, Isa looked the room quite large now lightened.

“I have to prepare your bed but you can have this room. Does it please you?”

“This room is big.”

“I believe it’s made for two people,” Isa replied.

He caressed Yutu in his arms as his messy hairs were almost untied, pasting to his skin.

“You used it for stocking things?”

She looked toward the bed that was perfectly arranged. Why would he prepare it?

“It’s my room.”

“But…”

“It’s okay, Naminé. I don’t sleep a lot and it’s better if you can have a correct room. I don’t know how much time you’ll stay here but we can also set a place for you to draw or paint?”

She looked up at him.

No one ever tried to give her something. She was just meant to be there. They just stayed sure that she was under their thrall. But you didn’t need love for that… just to make her hate herself enough to stay there…

“C… can I hug you?” she said.

“Me?”

“Please?”

Isa was surprised but he crouched to put down Yutu who hopped in the room, especially because she was used to. As he opened his shivering arms, she approached him and hugged him tightly.

“Thank you,” she said.

He moved his hand, approaching it from her hair and caressed slowly, brushing them slightly.

“Wh… What do you want to eat tonight?”

“Oh… Whatever you want,” she said. “I’m not… I don’t want to take too much place.”

“Very well. I’ll prepare the supper, just take your ease,” he said, letting go on her, uneasy.

But she didn’t.

“You… You can play with Yutu, just be careful, she’s shy, or draw her… or do whatever you wish for but warn me if ever it’s abnormal.”

She nodded though she didn’t know what was normal or not.

Isa moved back and gave her a tensed smirk before going to his kitchen, tying his still wet hair in a ponytail that would be better for this.

The teenager approached Yutu to play with her. And maybe do a drawing or two? She could also try to install herself a bit but… she has nothing. Just her sketchbook…

More or less fifteen minutes later, Naminé heard a sound and blinked, surprised. She put down Yutu, who jumped back on the bed and yawned, and she caressed her before getting up with her sketchbook, walking to the sound. She tilted slightly her head when she saw Isa put something on the work plan next to him.

“You’re doing okay?”

It was Axel’s voice! Well… Lea’s…

“Thank you for you consideration: I’m doing fine. And you?”

“It’s a bit weird… Roxas and Xion went to see their friends.”

“Interesting, I thought you’d be happy to have them seeing people?”

Naminé could understand that the man had put the speakers as he was chopping scallions and she was noticing a big bowl with meat inside.

“I am! I AM!! However, I don’t know when they’ll come back…”

The young girl looked Isa, moving slightly on the side. She tilted her head on the side, once again, and took her sketchbook.

“Buuuut, let’s not talk about that! That’s too sad! Since I’m alone, wanna come home?” Lea wondered.

“Why? You feel too sad when you’re not with me?”

“Pff! Of course! Should I remind you when we were child, I was always at your home? And at the Organization! It was hard to not see you. I remember this time we argued and I couldn’t flee you,” he laughed. “It’s just feel empty without you.”

Isa glanced at the phone. He could only hear Lea’s voice but he could imagine how he looked as he said that.

Or wished it.

He slid the scallions in his bowl and opened an egg in the mixture.

“Your proposition is interesting but I can’t leave home tonight.”

“You can’t? Nothing grave?”

“Nothing grave at all.”

There was a tiny silence where Isa was mixing the meat with his clean hands.

“Can I…”

Silence.

Isa looked toward the phone, once again, as he was modeling perfect balls in his hand.

Naminé blinked once again, her pencil moving on the paper quickly.

“… come?”

“Here?”

“Here!” Lea said. “If you don’t mind? You don’t have a girlfriend at home, right?”

Isa let out an inaudible sigh as his heart tightened.

“No. No rendezvous for me. You can come if you want to.”

“Nice! So you could uh… uh teach me things?”

“Do you need me to teach you things or do you feel like you have to ask me to teach you things?” he wondered. “Because you still have your books if it’s only to learn.”

“It’s just… I feel like you’d be bored if I don’t give you something to do?”

“Your company is highly enjoyable, Lea. You don’t have to find something useful or to have a reason to pass or to call me. However, if you need to, talk to me about them, it’s really okay.”

“Aw! You’re the best Isa!”

“You’re wrong.”

“I’m right! I’ll come then! When do you want me to come? Now? I come now?”

Isa couldn’t help but smile as he did the last ball. His hands were dirty now.

“Don’t you have better things to do? Like cleaning your house?”

“Me? Cleaning?! Isa! You’re a monster!”

“Oh, I see. It’s a plan from you to force me to come clean your home one day,” he replied, as he washed his hands.

“You’re so smart! How can I trick you?”

“You can’t,” Isa replied with a light tone.

And when Lea laughed, his Heart was like bathed by Light and joy.

“I arrive! Expect me in ten or fifteen minutes!”

“Very well.” Isa dry his hands. “Take care on the road.”

“I swear to you!”

Isa said goodbye and then cut the communication. As he turned to put the phone away, he noticed Naminé who smiled to him. She approached him, hesitated but handed him the drawing she just did.

“I’m happy Lea will come,” she pointed as she showed the sketch.

Isa frowned when he saw himself, smiling sweetly, glooming…

It was clearly a work in progress but the traits were sweets.

“You can draw,” he said.

“Yes. That’s what I like to do, Isa,” she giggled.

“The drawings I remind are very execrable in regards to… uh… you made a lot of progress,” he caught himself.

“That wasn’t the same,” she said with a smile. “Those were drawings coming from magic. There were so many at once, I had to do quick and so as long as it was recognizable enough for the magic to work… But, you see…” She turned her sketchbook’s page. “If I take time…” She pinched her lips as Isa’s eyes laid on a quick sketch on Yutu. “I just… never showed my real art because I didn’t feel it was good enough.”

“So why…?”

“To thank you?” she replied.

“You don’t have to,” he said. He didn’t go further, by respect to her. “But it’s really good art. You should be proud of it. And forget those coming from this magic.”

She nodded slightly.

But she still had vision sometimes. But now… it would be her choice to put them on paper or not.


	15. Chapter 14

The plates were doing a tiny sound against the table as Naminé put down the plates. She walked to the kitchen and then toward Isa who was warming mashed potatoes he had taken out from his deep freezer. With milk, cream, a bit of butter and correct spices, it tasted as good as if he had just did it. He also prepared a salad with lettuce and carrot he had shredded.

“It’s done… I can stay in your room if you prefer,” she said.

“Your room and no,” he replied. “You’re very welcome. You can even taste the puree if you want to give your opinion.”

He took a little spoon and pushed a bit of mashed potatoes for her.

It was quite liquid but not too much neither. She thanked him, taking the spoon. Isa acted with deference and probably by habit but it meant a lot for Naminé…

She looked toward the door when it ringed.

“Do you want me to open or…”

“I’ll do it, thank you. Take care with the food,” he said.

And yet, he turned the oven off. The food was almost done because almost a half-hour passed but it wasn’t a surprise for Isa.

He walked to the door and checked Yutu wasn’t there before opening. He blinked, not seeing Lea. For one second. Because, the second after, he saw him kneeling in front of him.

“I’m so so so sorry!!!”

“What is your excuse?”

“An old man needed to cross a dangerous place, I helped him, we talked…” Lea looked up at him. “I suck, I’m sorry.”

“As I told you, I’d gladly wait for you. And the supper is just ready now.”

“You’re too kind with me.”

Isa held his hand to him. Lea grabbed it and got up, pressing a kiss on his cheek. He found it so warm under his lips. A thing he really loved with Isa was how his cheeks were always so warm. Something strange because the rest of his body was quite cold. He hated when they were teenager and he sneaked out in his bed because his feet were so cold! But he could never get enough of hugs and to kiss those warms cheeks.

“You’re less pretty.”

“I beg your pardon?” Isa folded his arms. “You’re really not skilled for talking with people and yet you have so many friends. How are you doing that?”

“I don’t know!” he laughed. “And you’re still pretty, of course! The prettiest! But it’s just, your look! The pretty large pullover, the hairs…”

“Hm,” he replied. “It was raining when I was coming back so I just quickly make me more comfortable to cook.”

“You don’t have a hood or something?”

“I do. But I gave it.”

“Gave it?”

Isa nodded and moved slightly his hand, inviting him to follow his paces. Lea took out his vest and throw it in the coat rack on the side and pushed out his boots quickly and then followed Isa. He arrived in the dinner room that had been dressed.

For three people?

He looked as Isa walked to the kitchen entered in and then come out…

“Naminé?” he gasped.

“Hello,” she smiled. “How are you, Ax…Lea?”

“W… well,” he said. “And you?”

“I’m doing fine.”

“Nice. What… what are you doing here?”

As she was talking with him, Isa finished bringing the meal at the table. There was mashed potatoes with balls sparkled with green where there was fresh spices and a thick brown sauce with mushrooms accompanying. The salad was there too, of course.

“I had nowhere to go. Isa offered me to stay.”

“Here?” Lea asked.

She nodded.

Lea looked up at Isa.

“You?”

“Yes. I let you take as much as you’d like to,” he said.

“Thank you!”

“Thanks!” Lea replied. “But… it is okay?”

Naminé took food in her plate. “It looks okay. If it’s okay for Isa, of course.”

“Of course. We’ll try to install her this week-end, I believe.” Isa glanced at her. “If this suits you well.”

“Probably but what do you mean?”

“I thought you’d like to choose news blankets and others belongings to make the room more yours.”

She blinked.

“That’s a good idea!” Lea said. “I think I never really did that with Roxas and Xion,” Lea noticed as he finished to serve himself.

He looked to Isa who thanked him as he took the utensil.

“You still can do it,” he replied as he noticed this look on him. “However, they live with you for a moment already thus I suppose they have enough belongings now?”

“Well…”

Lea scratched his nape.

“Not really?” Isa asked, sitting next to Naminé.

“Not really. We never took time, I think…”

Isa frowned and cut a meatball in silence. Two wolves were fighting within him. One wanted to ask Lea to come with them, because he could feel that his friend wanted it and will offer it anyway; the other didn’t want to have to pass time with Roxas and Xion.

And what Naminé wanted?

“I should plan that,” Lea said. “Maybe we can meet you? I mean… I’m not really good at that and they could see you’re really nice?”

Of course, Isa could have waited for it.

He looked toward the young girl next to him. Now, it was important to not let her feel what he deeply thought.

“Do you want to accompany Lea, Roxas and Xion in down town?” he asked.

Lea watched her and since she was looking him too, he let out a tiny groan.

“Listen, for Castle Oblivion…”

“It’s fine. I don’t know… I don’t know if you were nice to me because you wanted something from me but I felt something in you.”

“Maybe she’s the one who helped you to see your real Heart, in the end,” Isa said to Lea before taking some puree.

Lea watched him then her. He nodded slightly.

Maybe, yes.

Everything had changed after the Castle Oblivion. He thought it was because of Roxas and Xion but maybe not? It has been sudden, after all. Sudden for him… and yet, he didn’t have showed a lot of remorse to kill old friends. Because it was for Saïx…

He took some mushrooms in silence.

“I’d be glad to see Lea a bit more,” Naminé said, to break the icy and sad atmosphere that was swirling around them. “And I’m sure you have great tastes!” she added.

“I do!”

“When do we see each other?” Isa wondered.

“Saturday at ten o’clock?” he replied. “We could go on the beach after!”

Because he still had the beach planned with the teenagers and he didn’t want to hurt them by changing totally the plan. In contrary, he did know it would be more dangerous for the relationship between his children and Isa. He wanted them to be friend… not the total invert.

“It seems lovely!” Naminé said.

“Yes!”

“We have to buy you clothes anyway,” Isa pointed out to the teenager. “You can borrow my clothes if you want to,” he added.

“Your clothes?” Lea said, surprised. “By the way, the food is really good,” he added.

“Thank you,” Isa replied. “And yes, my clothes. Is something annoying with that?”

“You’re way taller and buffer than her,” Lea pointed out.

“I stay home so it’ll be a kind of pajama,” she smiled softly.

“You stay home? You’re not going to school?”

“School?”

Naminé seemed surprised and she looked toward Isa who ate calmly.

“I… I can go to school?” she said.

“You doubted about that? Going to school is a really good thing. I thought I’ll talk about it to you when you will be more accommodated to this.”

“Thank you!” she smiled. “Thank you so much, Isa! I’m so glad I’ll come outside and I’m so excited to start school!”

Isa looked her with an almost invisible smile.

Lea smiled with a really wide grin because this situation reminded him a boy he used to see when he was just a child.

“You should have told it to Isa! He would have prepared everything!”

“Everything?”

“Yes! Like your schoolbag and all!”

“Oh…” She pushed a long lock of her hairs.

“Don’t worry, Naminé,” Isa replied to her. “And if you want to, tomorrow, you’ll go to school.”

“Tomorrow?”

She looked thrilled and frightened but she smiled and nodded very slightly to him.

“Thank you. Thank you very much!” she said, joining her hands.

“You’re welcome.”

“I’m happy for you! Roxas and Xion would certainly help you if you need to! They have three friends too…”

“Pence, Hayner and Olette, right?” Naminé asked.

“Yay, them!”

She smiled but felt like she would be one too much. Though she was quite excited by the idea of seeing Roxas again. Especially because of what her Heart was made off.

She kept the excitation inside of her but didn’t show it too much and just chatted lightly and joyfully to the two men.

In the living room with Yutu nibbling a bit of lettuce she was handing her, Naminé drew. Her expression was soft and calm. Relaxed for once.

Fully relaxed.

Naminé loved the mood here.

She felt that she wasn’t pushed back here. Isa tried for her. He tried his best. He could fail, like when he didn’t talk immediately about the school, like the fact he was quite harsh and wanted things to be done as he wanted them to be done. He wanted her to take a shower before drawing and coming to the living room and she felt that with him, she just couldn’t say ‘no’. There was something in his tone.

So she was in a wide t-shirt, drawing and petting Yutu.

The dinner room had been dressed off and cleaned and now, she could hear a light sound coming from the kitchen.

She knew Isa and Lea were washing the dishes and she didn’t dare to move to them.

In fact, was she was hearing was the sound of the dishes being moved out. They were washing and drying them in silence. But Lea kept glancing toward Isa, searching what to say. He wanted to say or do something… He wanted to joke with him or to touch him…

Him who always touched him when he wanted, him who always talked freely to him, he suddenly felt unable to be normal. He didn’t want to hurt him with bad feelings.

What could he say without being risking hurting him?

“It’s nice you have accepted to take care of Naminé.”

He nodded slightly.

Lea felt that his friend was closed again. He was used to see him closed, to be fair, but he always was able to open him with joke and good mood.

“How it’s happened? I didn’t ask before.”

“She came in the Library because of the rain and we talked a little. She had… nowhere to go. Or, should I say, she had somewhere to go but it wasn’t healthy for her. At all. I couldn’t let her like that…”

“Of course you couldn’t.”

Isa looked toward him as he was drying the cutlery.

“You always had a Heart of Gold.”

“When I had one,” the man replied.

“Yes. But I think you always had one. Even back when you hadn’t. You’re a kind Heart, Isa. Nothing forced you to accept Naminé. Nothing forced you to hold your hand to those needing it…”

“You’re kind, Lea. I think you’re wrong. And you act like I did something really special and beautiful but you accepted Roxas and Xion by your side.”

“But they’re my friend,” he said, rubbing the bottom of a pan. “It was really nice for me to have them at home. But you…”

“I owned it to her,” Isa replied. “I hurt her. I acted really execrably.”

“You didn’t.”

Isa glared him.

“Okay. You did. You were kinda an asshole, especially when you forced me to work,” he laughed. He noticed a tiny smile on Isa lips while he was drying the pan so he continued. “But it was what Xemnas forced you to do. It’s over. It’s forgotten.”

“It’s over? Forgotten?” Isa repeated, his hands shaking around the pan. “You do believe that everything will be expunged just because he’s not there anymore? That his indentions are unrotten?”

Isa shook his head.

“Isa?”

Lea took out his hands from the warm foamy water and moved it toward his best friend who moved backward.

“Don’t touch me…”

“Why?” Lea asked.

Steam was moving from his hands as he was warming his skin to make disappear the water.

“You’re afraid I’ll hurt you? Dirty you?” he asked with his hands drying.

“You? Dirty me?”

Isa moved backward, the pan slipping from his hands suddenly weak. The sound echoed with violence around. Isa shook his head and his back pressed against the wall. And he slid along it.

“I would dirty you…”

“Never!”

Lea dashed to him, falling on his knees next to him but not daring touching him. He was too afraid to break him as he was seeing him so bad, saw him shake, remember how he flinched when he touched him without warning him before.

“Never… You would never dirty me. You’re so precious… You’re so perfect.”

He approached his fingers from him but couldn’t touch him. Not because he was afraid to be dirty… but because he was afraid to hurt him to the core.

“Isa… I’m so sorry he did that to you…”

“I…” Isa looked down. “I always have given my consent.” He clenched his hands on the shirt he was wearing. “I… I’m just not sure I wanted it…” he muttered.

“Isa? How… How is it possible?” Lea asked with a broken voice. “If you didn’t want it, you couldn’t _want_ it…”

Isa scratched his wrist.

“You know how is it…” He couldn’t look him. “From the first day he decided he wanted me, he hewed me… When he wanted something, when he asked something… I complied. I couldn’t say otherwise… The only time I refused to follow his orders…” Isa looked up at him, moving his hand. His fingers shook as he was almost touching his cheek. “… it was for you.”

“Isa.”

Lea caressed his hand, pressing it against his cheek.

“You… you were the only one to keep me sane. When you left… when I was just his…”

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, Isa. You should have held me back. You should…”

“Have told it to you?” Isa muttered. “That would have force you to stay.”

“Yeah.”

“I wouldn’t force you… You needed to leave.”

“You needed me.”

“Your happiness was more important. You still… you could flee away from this place. You did. You were way much more in the role you wanted after that,” he said with a weak and tiny smile.

“Isa… Why? Why did you pass through this alone?”

“You’re the only one I have. And you were meant to be somewhere else. I just… wished you to be happy. It was my only wish, my only way to keep going through this… When I knew he tried to recreate Xion and Roxas, I wanted him to success…”

“For me.”

“For you…”

“And when you lost at the Keyblade Graveyard,” the ex-Assassin muttered. “I… I knew you couldn’t… You couldn’t lose so easily.”

“I couldn’t hurt those you love…”

“Isa…”

Lea pressed his hand over his, the other coming against his cheek. He caressed it slowly, his thumb brushed one edge of the X.

“I don’t deserve you.” He leaned and pressed a kiss on the middle. “I don’t deserve you at all…”

Isa could hear his Heart hammer. Lea’s Heart almost against him.

“Why do you bother with a piece of shit like me when you’re so awesome…”

“I… You’re the most precious being to me. I…” Isa closed his eyes. “I l…”

He wanted to say it but couldn’t.

“Do you love me?” Lea asked.

Isa looked at him. He gulped and nodded. Lea slid his thumb along his lips, caressing slowly.

“Can I?”

Once again Isa could just nod.

Lea bent to him and kissed him. Slowly, slightly…


	16. First Night

In the living room, Isa was talking with Naminé, Yutu in his arms. She was curled against his chest, her eyes closed while Naminé was doing quick sketches to calm herself. She had heard some parts of the conversation from earlier and if she had been able to sense some of Isa’s problems, she had also been horrified to know everything…

And she couldn’t push away what she had understood…

At least, she had heard they were together now?

She was happy for them!

She thought Lea and Isa both deserved it.

She wanted to see the things change for them. Change for the best. And she hoped it for her too.

But… Will she be pushed away because now Isa would live with Lea and three teenagers would be too much?

She didn’t want to talk about it to Isa because it seemed… too mean but it was still there, somewhere, hid in her mind.

Lea walked in the room and smiled slightly.

“It’s good, Roxas and Xion stay at Hayner’s and I stay with you,” he smiled to Isa.

Which wanted to say to him ‘you don’t have to’ but honestly? He wanted to have him by his side…

He had to not lose his head…

“Is it correct for them? Two at Hayner’s place. And Xion is…”

“It’s okay. Roxas and Xion can both kick Hayner’s ass if he tries anything,” Lea laughed. He approached him and hesitated, not daring to sit next to him. “I wanted to stay with you if you were okay and… unless you’re forcing yourself…” He frowned. “You can tell it to me if you want me to move away! I can let you with Naminé.” He glanced at the bunny. “And Yutu!”

“You’re very welcome, Lea,” Isa replied.

“Nice! But beware! Because I’ll stay!”

“How long?” Naminé smiled.

“Eh! Maybe forever!”

Isa moved on the side in the sofa so Lea sat next to him. He wanted to touch him, to hug him but he did nothing of that, just watching his profile while he was hugging his bunny.

“Forever? And who will take care of your children?”

“Well… me?”

Isa glanced around. His house was pretty tiny and it was a choice. He didn’t want to live in a fancy place surrounded with opulence and luxury.

“I don’t know if I have the place for them… And if I remember correctly how your house looks…”

“It was kinda a joke,” Lea smiled. “I want to stay forever with you but I won’t force you to anything.”

Naminé got up and walked toward the room. Isa noticed it and got up too, laying Yutu on Lea’s lap.

“I’m coming back,” he said. He walked away and stopped after two paces. “That doesn’t disturb you, right?”

“Absolutely not. Go, go!” Lea grinned. “I wait for ya!”

Isa let appear just a minuscule smile. Even more when he saw his dearest friend making a heart with his hands before caressing the fluffy rabbit.

The other man went to Naminé’s room and knocked at the door. Door that had certainly just been closed. And yet opened for him, just a little, sweet Naminé’s face appearing shyly.

“S… Isa?” she asked.

“Is something wrong?” he wondered, folding his arms.

“No! I just wanted to let a bit of intimacy to you and Lea. And, it’s time to rest to be full of energy tomorrow for school, right?” she smiled.

“Yes. Do you need anything? Or do you wish something special for your first day school? I’ll prepare your breakfast however, if you desire something else?”

“Well…”

She looked annoyed and her fingers clamped around the side of the door.

“You can tell me everything,” he said. “Don’t be scared.”

Naminé smiled a bit. Yet, it was hard to not be scared… She could sense how much he had changed, how much he won’t hurt her but that didn’t mean she was ready to just unleash everything she had on her so new Heart…

“Would you be okay to bring me to school tomorrow?”

Isa nodded.

She smiled, weakly.

“Thank you!” She clasped a bit more her hand around the door. “Have a good night,” she added weakly.

“Have a good night too,” he said.

He moved backward and heard the door close behind him.

Only there, he came back to the living room and smiled when he saw Lea hugging Yutu, pressing his lips in the fluffy fur. The bunny didn’t seem that annoyed but she moved a bit her paws. She wasn’t used to that. Especially not from a stranger. Isa suspected she was letting him do because Lea still had his smell on him.

Lea looked up and smiled.

“Eh!”

Isa’s smile became weaker since those eyes were on him. He walked toward him and sat by his side. Lea let go on Yutu who hopped to Isa’s lap.

“You seems to do so good!” Lea complimented. “How are you doing?! Tell me your secret, pleaseeeeee!”

He joined his palms together and Isa looked down, a tiny smile on his lips, as he was caressing Yutu with his fingertips.

“I only do what I wish my parents would have done with me. This work for me but I don’t think for you…”

Isa looked up a bit to see Lea shook his head.

“But you will be able to do it too, you know?”

“I hope so,” he replied.

Isa wanted to show confidence in his case but he showed nothing, just caressing Yutu.

“I hope sleeping in the couch don’t bother you?” he said.

“Don’t worry,” Lea replied. “You know I can sleep everywhere!” he added with a laugh.

“That’s true. I’ll bring you sheets and blankets then. Make yourself at home. You’re very welcome.”

Isa got up but Lea did the same.

“Wait… Where do you sleep?”

“Probably in the floor. Or I’ll work in the dinner room and sleep tomorrow.”

“Isa…” Lea sighed.

He moved his hands, his fingertips brushing his cheek but not touching it.

“I can sleep _everywhere_,” he reminded. “And if someone deserves that floor, he’d be me. Buuuuuuuut…”

“But?” Isa repeated.

“I can be your mattress?”

Isa glanced at the couch next to them, his arms tightening a bit around the bunny.

“I won’t hurt you,” Lea said, his fingers brushing the long blue lock.

His friend grabbed his hand and pressed his lips against the knuckles.

“Of course you won’t hurt me,” he whispered. He moved slightly backward. “Do you want something? I…”

“A kiss!” Lea let out. “Oh… You were about to talk…”

“I will retrieve those blankets,” he said, finishing his sentence. He came two paces closer and slid his fingers under his chin. “But this is for you,” he added before pressing slowly his lips against his.

Lea smiled against his lips. He moved his hand to caress his cheek.

“I’m happy to be with you, Isa.” He pushed the lock on the side but didn’t uncover the ear. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too. It must looks selfish, however… please, stay by side,” Isa begged under his breath.

“Forever.” His nose rubbed against his before he brushed his lips to the soft one. “It always has been my place.”

“Thank you.” Isa pressed his hand on the side of Lea’s neck, his fingers caressing the warm skin. “I wished this since so long…”

“Sorry for having been so slow,” Lea replied.

“It’s okay, Lea. Your feelings are important. Taking your time to find them was important.”

“I love you.”

Lea smiled when he saw the cheeks turning pink. He bent to him and kissed his lips in a gentle brush.

“I love you,” he repeated.

“Stop,” Isa let out with a tiny smile.

“You’re beautiful when you smile,” Lea replied, pressing his forehead against him.

“Huuush…”

“What? I can’t say how much you’re perfect to me?”

“You just discovered your love thus this is making you stupid and you’re saying inanity.”

“Pfff!! _You_’re saying inanity! I’m always stupid!” Lea smiled.

Isa let out a tiny laugh.

“YEEEEEEES!” Lea let out. “Happiness suits you so well,” he said.

“You suit me so well,” the former Second-in-Command replied. “You make me happy.”

“Can I ask you something?” Lea said, his breath melting with his.

“Yes?”

“Since when do you love me?”

Isa caressed his neck with tenderness.

“I don’t know… It was longtime ago, we were so young. Maybe… always?” he said. “The first time I saw you, it was as if a Sun had shined my endless night. I never doubted you could be a part of the Light: you always have been my Light. You lightened my path since the beginning.”

“You’re gifted with words… And I’m falling even more with you right now. I love you.”

Isa smiled again and moved slightly to press his forehead against his shoulder, still caressing Yutu with his hand, the hand holding her. He was happy but showing his happiness seemed so wrong…

“Eh.”

Lea caressed his cheek, his fingers sliding along the long hairs.

“Why don’t you take a shower and I take care of setting the… not-bed. Okay?”

“It’s nice from you.” Isa bit his lower lips. “And… when you’ll be done, you can come too?” He frowned. “Not… not for anything concupiscent, just…”

“Yes, just to be with you. I’d put on my underwear if you want to?” he teased, referencing that time where Isa used to do it. Too shy to show his body.

Isa hit his shoulder, lightly, and rubbed his thumb against his neck.

“You’re so obnoxious, Lea.” He pressed his head against him a bit more and smiled when he felt the arm around his body. “I’m glad to be unable to forget you,” he said.

Lea smiled and hugged him a little more, rocking him slowly and pressing a kiss on his temple.

“I love you. I love you so much,” he whispered to his ear.

Isa smiled a bit. He didn’t want this to stop.

Never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank everyone for your support, kudos and everything!!!  
Don't forget to check @AmeNocturna's art!!!! She has inspired this whole story and I love her so much!!!!!!


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